Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Denti vs Gyno

I was sitting in the denti chair yesterdia and thinking,

"Would I rather be here or at the gynocologist?"

Mouth or privates.  That's disgusting, but it's true.  I abhor both places and I must say I have a very nice dentist and Gyno.  Blahhhhhh.  Whatever.  So I feel like we live at Dr. Morris's office and yet it had been 1 year since we had been in to get our bocas checked on.  Turns out the orthodontist fills up my mouth calendar and I feel like maybe it should be enough.  ITS NOT.

Every freaking year ya'all get horrible reports from Dr. Mouth.  Sucky suck.  Seriously, taking care of my body is a full-time job;  ya'all are killing me.  Whatever.

Let's throw in the part where I adore that everyone has such a strong personality and it makes up for getting our mouths violated.  First off, Paige.  I love that you don't give a @#$@% and are all,

"Yea I don't floss at all." 

And the look on your face is "Eat crap and die"

Then we've got Ellie.  It scares the hell out of me to take you to the dentist.  Remember that time, wait you were a different personality so you probably don't remember it, but you jumped on the chair like an animal whilst getting a shot.  Twas AWESOME.  Your eyes darted around the room like you were being hunted by a tiger and you were going to take that big cat down--------------------town-----------like a clown. 

Carter.  Dude.  Chill out.  You don't have to beat yourself up over it.  You can get dentures someday.  Not a big deal.  I'm mean they are made to sort of look like teeth now so it's not so bad.

A.  You took the door prize yesterday.  I sent all of you out to the car to finish up getting my receipt and you ran back in.  You opened the door to the back office and started yelling,

"I DON'T LIKE MINT.  YOU GAVE ME MINT TOOTHPASTE."

I said, "Whoa there little ginger.  These ladies are not your Mama.  You don't get to talk to them like this."

You looked pissed at me and continued to stare down the dental hygenist.  AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You said,

"I WANT STRAWBERRY.  I DON"T LIKE SPICY."

I looked at you and you actually tried to lunge toward their end of the hall.  Like you were going to body slam the denti ladies.

"SLow your roll.  Apologize."

You said (still pissed)

"Sooorry."

You didn't mean it.

The dental assistant calmly came over and said,

"But Ava.  This is the toothpaste I want you to use. I will also give you a strawberry one."

You STOMPED out to the car.

When we all went out for pizza last night I gently prodded you to tell your father about the incident.  When he said,

"Ava, tell me what happened at the dentist."

You answered with a sly smile and said,

"I don't think I can answer that question."

Seriously.  You said that.  Okay.  You are ready for the real world lover.  We just need to grow your bones so you semi-look like an adult.  Because we are so  damn small you may never actually look like an adult.  Tis why I go with Semi.  You didn't blink or stutter when you said this to tu' padre.  Rad

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