Sunday, February 27, 2011

The week in review

After finally negotiating the contract with Tom Ewing, we signed the lease last Friday. The last 7 days has been nonstop construction and moving. At one point your dad won 2 lifts from an auction in Sierra Vista and drove 3 hours on a moving day to retrieve them. He only got pulled over once on the way home and was in bed by 1AM. I would say that tired is an understatement.

Along the moving way we encountered lice. Big pat on the back to mom - I TOTALLY didn't over react this time. A big hallelujah to Tia Allie and Uncle John who found the most amazing, natural product that kills the lice and dissolves the freaking eggs. You heard me. DISSOLVES THE EGGS. I may dedicate a post to the mom who created the product. She is amazing and if I had any Chemistry knowledge I would liked to have contributed to humanity the way she has. I would tackle scorpions after the lice. We found 2 in the house this week. You, number 1, and your biological testosterone male figure chopped them up with scissors while their body parts still swam around in the toilet. Hysterical laughter ensued.

This morning your dad woke up and said,

"This is a horrible week. I really don't want to move anymore. I have to finish all of the lifts today and I have to deal with that customer who blew up his car on Monday."

Me in an uber cheerful voice chimes in with,
"Don't forget my birthday is in a couple of days!"

To which I hear maniacal laughter,
"Hahahahahahahah (pause) Hahahahahahahaha. This week really couldn't get much worse could it."

I couldn't stop laughing. This really is your dad's idea of the worst week ever. Ahhhh my wife's birthday.

On another note, Carter my young stud, you worked all day with dad yesterday and headed out with him again today. You really worked. I am so super impressed. I am going to write the song that I am singing, (p.s. cute man, you asked me if I would try out for American Idol if they came to AZ. Your dad hasn't stopped laughing since I told him this. Very cute) This song is to Madonna's Like a Virgin.

"Tralalalala. Oh, like a hard worker. Hey. Working for the very first time. Like a wo o o rker. When I lift boxes, close to the ground, I give all my effort. My energy is fading fa a ast. ohh my arms won't last."

Gracias por la nino. You are muy muscley. Weight training is bueno for thy armos.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Ben's birthday party

I hosted a fiesta last weekend and it was muy lovely. Twas Ben Allred's birthday and I made:
Sweet pork burritos with green salsa
and Spicy sweet potatoes
The Longs brought a tres leches cake. Remember how I sang Happy Birthday it was.....................Grrreeatt!
Here are a few pictures to capture the evening.

Ben, Jen, and Randy. I loved how Randy assumed I was a flight attendant because I once worked at the airlines.

Renee, Kendall, and Kristen.
April and my man before the festivities. The bearded professor looks like he was sneaking some food before anyone showed up. Nerd. On the other hand he made the yard look so spiffy.
Dear Don Captain,
You were muy helpful. Thank you for working so hard all of the time. Your beard es sexy - mi love you a la hairy. Your pelo sometimes is stinky. Please take some hand soap to it from time to time so the rotten cheese smell can cease to exist. I will protect you from the Chupacobra when it comes for you at night. Some nights when you actually fall asleep you whimper, "Oh Chupacobra, spare me, take Jen instead." Dios Mio, I will forget I hear this and protect you anyways lover.
Hugs and French Kisses,

You fine lady friend

Friday = a Fancy Outfit

1st big play date

A week ago you came home from school saying,
Ava: "Tessa is going to have me over to her house and we are going to put make-up on."
Me: "Really? What is the occassion?"
Ava: "It is her birthday. Can I go? Can you call Tessa's mom. Please call her right now."

This went on for 3 days. I'M NOT KIDDING. I passed our phone number on to your teacher to give to Tessa's mother. We were finally able to set up a play date and the following pictures sequence the events of the big day.

1. Waiting in a chair pushed up to the window for Tessa to arrive.

2. Realizing I'm taking pictures you start to pose. Please note the leg crossed in the front.

3. A quick move and your leg is now at your knee.

4. Oh My, you just popped your hip out and are making a face.

The posing all came to an abrupt halt when Tessa finally arrived. Yes, you are the same age.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Just sitting here doing payroll and I noticed Randy sent me a picture from our trip in June. Why is it in every picture that your dad "El Cap i tan" has to pretend he is DEEP in thought or is in a coma from meningitis? I would LOVE a picture of the two of us where he looks like the normal, cute, smart Captain that he is.

This past weekend three of you spent the night at Auntie Kimmy's house. A, you actually slept in your own bed all week to prove that you would be able to go. At the last second Uncle Dave invited you - Car tier - to the fiesta. A big thanks to Kim and Dave for entertaining you while your dad and I had our own party. Ben Allred's birthday extravaganza. Is it a sign of bad singing when the birthday boy laughs his fanny off when I start out the song? Maybe, but everyone else claimed to "not" be a singer. What you have to be a professional singer now to start out the Happy Birthday song? We would never get it sung at our house if this were the case. There is a little hope for a couple of you, my offspring - Ava y Ellie. Mi manos are crossed. I would like to retire and hit the beach so get your baby acts, spray tan, and fake baby teeth on.

My Valentines wish is for a nap and a good picture with tu' padre.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Lots o sleep walking

First you Miss. Paige were wandering through the hall. I grabbed you and you kept trying to walk away. Exasperated you said, " I am working on my sentences." I physically turned you around and put you back in your bed.

20 Minutes later you, Miss. Ellie, walked in to our room and said something. When I asked "what" you said, "Oh never mind." and walked your self back to your room.

3:15am you, Miss. Ava, came in to our room FULLY awake. You said, "I don't want to sleep in my room anymore. "

Really Everyone. Get a grip on your sleep.

Monday, February 7, 2011


I had left the Tempe shop and was heading home to be there when you, #4, came home from school. As I was driving past the Mesa shop a car started racing toward me - IN MY LANE. I swerved to the right - almost into another car. The car that was about to hit me head on - hit the cars behind me head on. As I look out my window and into my mirror I see a body flying behind my car through the air. Then there is a large fire bomb and cars flipping. I pull into the parking lot on the North side and called 911. I sort of remember saying, "fire, bodies, fire, bodies in the air. " She told me to sit down and breathe. I had to sit on a rock in front of dead bodies for 30 minutes before a police officer asked me what happened.

The guys in our Mesa shop all saw what happened. Some of the guys helped people out of one of the flipped cars. I just got onto the news site and guess what - alcohol related. Empty cans and a full bottle of alco - freaking - hall 10:50AM. Beyond sad. Beyond.

Friday, February 4, 2011

My now big man

This week you have been attending sex-ed classes. Holy Moly it should be called the IMPROV with Grandpa Sex-ED Teacher. So, as I understand it there is a grandpa teaching this class. This class that it riddled with videos from the 80's - - - - VHS people. Here are a few of the HILARIOUS stories I have heard from you after your class:

Carter: "So there is some REALLY old movie he showed us that is this guy talking about sexually transmitted diseases. The guy in the movie is pretending he is at a Carnival and is calling out your "lucky numbers".
Carni "Number 12 - Step on up. You just won herpes. This means you get rashes and bumps and ......"
Carter, " hahahahahaha - sorry I can't finish that one."
Carni "Number 2 - Step on up. You just won Gonorrhea. This means you will have a swollen penis with discharge. It will also be painful while you urinate. "
Carni "Number 34 - you just won AIDS. You are going to die."

As a side note: Your father looks like he is puking in the pantry while you are sharing this with me. We (your father and I ) are extremely amused with the fact that a senior citizen is teaching this class. You also wanted me to note that you let out a "loud fart" and all the boys and even the old guy laughed their butts off.


Carter: "One of the videos did a play on a MasterCard commercial"

Hospital bills - $5000
Buying Baby Clothes - $100
Telling your mom you are pregnant - Priceless

This was one of your favorites.


I remember last years sex ed booklet stated that penis size doesn't dictate whether or not you will be a good father. Hot Damn - who writes this stuff?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


This is the most requested homemade bread I make! Delicious, dense, and sooooo flavorful. The aroma alone will be worth making it. And best of all... this bread is sooo easy to make! It is great toasted the next day for breakfast, that is if you have any left!

2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
3 TBS sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 TBS baking powder
dash of salt
2 TBS vegetable oil
1 bottle beer
1 TBS butter

Heat oven to 400 degrees. Combine flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Mix to distribute evenly.

Pour oil and beer over batter and mix by hand. Only mix until all the liquid has been incorporated, about 30-50 strokes.

Turn out into a well greased loaf pan.

Dot top of batter with butter.

Bake for 45 minutes until risen and golden brown. Remove from oven and let sit in pan for 10 minutes. Turn out onto cutting board. We eat this bread hot out of the oven and crumbly. YUMMY!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Foot, Mold, Blue hair - oh my

Where did you and I go on Friday? Skateland. Yes, the business that specializes in foot and mold smells. Nothing has changed. It is still the same as it was when I went there in elementary school. Oh wait, there is one new thing that ALL moms LOVE now. Whilst your child skates, someone paints their hair blue. No I'm not kidding. BLUE spray stuff in thy hair. Gross.