Monday, August 30, 2010

NateGATE

NateGATE could also be known as Hurricane Natina or literally WaterGATE. We had some fridge malfunctions this past week and yesterday when your dad fixed it he said,

"Done, It is totally fine now. We shouldn't have anymore problems. Now let's go to bed and make a baby."

Ok, just kidding with this last part. So, when I woke up at 2:30 AM to go yell at Otto for disturbing my slumber, imagine my shock and dismay to find the kitchen flooding. I hear a waterfall noise. I turn on the lights. I see that there is 2" of water in the kitchen.

I run and go wake up your biological father. He rushes in to save the day. He shuts off the water and opens up the pantry door. HELLO pantry. 4" in some areas and 2" in the rest. AHHHHHHH. The 12 towels I grabbed did NOTHING. He starts to use the dust pan to scoop water into buckets. I start wringing out towels to throw in the washer. I run into the laundry room to throw said towels into the machine when


"AHHHHHHH - 2" in the freaking laundry room. "


It is WaterGate bitches. Bernstein and Woodward this is actually WaterGate; but since you have claimed the name and the Captain is to blame it is "NateGATE". Oh Nixon, look at the throwing of the signs. I threw a couple of signs at the Captain last night.

Ava's alternate personality Evil Witch

#4, "Mom, I have lots of friends. Their names are Nito, Cheeto, Tito, Dorito, and Marlito. "

Me, "Wow, that is great."

#4, "They don't want to be my friend anymore. They keep calling me an evil witch."

Me, "What?"

#4, "An evil witch."

Me, "Well darling, I don't think they are your friends if they are calling you names. What is an evil witch anyway?"

#4, "It is someone that has a robot that steals toys."

Me, "Seriously - who are you?"

#4, "Ohhhh mom, they want to be my friend again!!!!"

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Casper

Since you have always looked like Casper it should have been no surprise to me that you would be able to communicate with the dead.

Picture this - me doing laundry. Yes, not so hard to picture since I am the ONLY one that does this chore. You were in the front room doing???? I start to hear yelling. I ignore this for a few minutes. You are a child that sings and speaks to herself 24/7. Finally the yelling is not so much singing and more screaming. I enter the kitchen to find you on the counter. Not a single chair is pulled over and not a single drawer is pulled out. I exclaim:

Me, "How the heck did you get up on the counter.\?"

#4, in a shaky voice, "A ghost put me up here."

Me, "What???"

#4, "A ghost did it with his ghost hands and I told him to chock it off."

I set you down on the ground and you rushed over to your chalkboard easel and drew a picture of your "ghost". You then said,

#4, "He had 2 dead puppies with him."

At this point your dad and Randy walk in the house and I tell them what just happened. Randy went white and freaked out. Your dad and I are laughing super hard and Randy is beside himself.

2 days later you told us that your ghost's name is WeisterJim.

Friday, August 27, 2010

El Perrito


This is what you liked to call "Doggie store" Chica finds it muy annoying. You dictate one piece of food every minute. Sometimes you try to make her do tricks in order to receive food. La Chica sometimes takes a nip out of your fingers when she gets impatient.

I love that my bra is hanging off of the door handle and just seems to be a part of the 2nd picture. We look like we are part of the BMW mafia with the safe in the back ground. All in all this is such a photo delight.

I on the other hand have been able to clean and organize the house this week. I found a dried piece of poop wrapped in a pillow case up in someone's closet (not naming names). Just curious, but what do you think went through your head when you were hiding said turd? Was it meant to stay in there for 3 years or did you forget where you hid your stash?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

First day of School 2010

Paige and Alyssa - 5th grade
Ellie - 2nd grade
Carter - 7th grade - Jr High School
This picture is evidence of the AMAZING big brother you are. #4 is attached to you and you are super cool about holding her hand and taking a pic with her. Muy Gracis Don Carter. You are the Hombre.
There was absolutely NO posing going on in this picture. #2, you are cracking me up. It is like "There really aren't 3 other children standing next to me. I AM THE ONLY ONE in this picture. "

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Relatives from Germany

Our relatives arrived from Germany. We have been having the best time hanging out with our cousins. Lisa, Charlie, Joe, and Eva. We have been shopping, swimming, and eating non-stop. I am on my way to looking 5 months pregnant - dad is already there. His baby is kicking a ton.

Ava, you finally spoke with your ghost this morning and his name is WeisterJim. Apparently, he is soooo naughty that he wrote on my curtains with markers yesterday. Seriously WeisterJimmy - knock it off. I'm sick of you putting Ava in all of these precarious situations.

Dad and I took Eva out to dinner last evening. It was Italian food like I've never had before. Gracias por la Restaurante' muy bueno la comida. Jen la gusta el escargoito. We went back to Auntie Kimmlito's house afterwards to find children destroying her house with popcorn and loud voices.

We are swimming today and grandma is channeling her character from her telenovela. Remember when Marlana channeled Satan back in the 80's on Day's of our Lives. Remember when she was levitating in the air and her eyes were all red and John was like, "Marlana - come back to me. Marlana tell him you are an angel and don't need his mala leche in your life. I am the only one for you - - - - FOREVER" That was one of the most awesome things to watch as a youngster. Kim and I would rush into the tv room every afternoon in the summer to tune in to the drama. It definately warps a young mind when you are exposed to the baby making, drug abusing, wife abusing, lady nonsense, stuck on a desserted island with a hot young man of 18 with whom you become pregnant with his love child and then decide to have an affair with his father while still carrying .....what triplets - anyway that can set a paradigm that is super unattainable.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

#4, "Mom, do you love me?"

Me, "Yesss!"

#4, "Mom, why won't you get a baby in your tummy for me if you love me? I'm daddy's love bug."

Me - Thinking of my answer

#4, "Mom, dad has a baby in his tummy. He is getting BIG. His baby kicked me the other day? I am going to name his baby Ted or hotdog or cheese stick."

Me, "Wow, those are some fancy names."

#4, "Remember I am fancy. I want to watch Giada now." (this last part was performed in song. Pretty much all words from your mouth today have been sung in a really high opera voice. I love the drama you have when asking simple questions. I also love that you can get distracted by the thought of Giada.)

Monday, August 16, 2010

Just Back

We decided to take a spur of the moment trip to Mexico. We went to Las Palomas resort and had the most fabulous time. Here are some of my favorite questions/statements of the weekend:

#4, "Dad, since I am your love bug will you buy me a mango."

#1, (10 minutes after eating dinner) "What is there to eat, I'm hungry."

#4, "Dad, I'm your little parasite."

#3, "I realize that I am really annoying."

#2, "Ava, say "hola tortuga when you see someone." hahahahahah" (this did take place as a result. Thank heavens most of the people couldn't understand the high pitched Spanish.) Also, "hello turtle" isn't that offensive.

I loved that the Captain left his laptop at the resort and we had to turn around and go back to retrieve it.

I love that I was super honest (as always) with the border patrol about the fruits we brought from the States and were returning with. I love that your dad was not super happy about having an agriculture inspection at the border.

I love that we listened to The Last Olympian all the way home. Everyone listened and was super quiet the WHOLE 4 hour ride.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

Daily Questioning

Every single day I get the following question:

"Mooooooom, get a baby in your tummy. When are you going to make a baby?"

To which I answer:

"Lovely, after I had you my tummy said, "Jen, get a grip. You are done. You will not have any more babies. I am demanding this of you."

To which you answer:

"Mooooom. (so dramatic) kiss dad and get me a baby!!!!"

My answer:

"You are my last baby."

Your answer:

"Mom, I AM NOT A BABY. ..................Can I have some ass cream?"

(The conversations then deviate from there. The following was todays.)

Me:

"Darling, it is 6:30 in the morning. What have you put in your body that is healthy?"

You:

"I had some ass cream already."

Me:

"Ava, I may win best mom award this year."

You:

"Mom, I am fancy - I can do flip de flips."

Me:

"Are flip de flips like ballerina moves?"

You:

"No, mom. (this was said in a tone like I am not the brightest person you know) Flip de flips are jumps and hops. Pshh"

Me:

"Did you just Pshh me? How old are you."

You:

"19"

Me:

"No, you are 3. "

You:

"Yea, I'm free."

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Back to school 5th grade Style

Last week you came to me and told me that you saw the most beautiful person ever from Ethiopia. She had an Afro and you would like one also. I braided your hair in tiny braids for a night and this is what we came out with. Your hair is a bit long, but I believe you got the desired look.

We also went on our back to school shopping date this past week and had a wonderful time. I once ventured to a roadhouse restaurant with Jen Layton (wwwwhhhaaaattt yes, I said Jen Layton and roadhouse in the same sentence. Add to that our waiter had the most horrible mustache I had ever seen. He kept letting us know that he lost a bet and therefore had to grow this disgusting mustache. Dude, I don't care for the why. What I care about is I shouldn't have to be exposed to such vulgarity. When you look like a professional kidnapper from Alabama maybe someone needs to hold an intervention. ) Anyways, we went to said roadhouse for lunch and you got such a great thrill out of throwing peanut shells on the floor. Whoot Whoot.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010