Sunday, May 27, 2012

Groundhogs Day Presents - Preschool graduation 2.0

The Captain es muy malo at pelo cuts

Speedo weather

Tu padre decided to jump in the pool whilst wearing his man thong today.  

Here is everyone's reaction to the baby shorts.

6th grade graduation / you look like you are 16

What happened.  It is like you grew up in a day.  You look fabulous in this picture.  I caught you while you were waiting in line to get your picture taken with a hummer.  Why?  I'm not sure.  Maybe because hummers represent "the Man" trying to bring the planet to her knees and 2012 is the year to yell, "No,  I love my Mother Earth.  Down with the hummers and other such things."

Here is Alyssa.  She is one of your bffs.  She is muy bonita y intelligente.  Beyond her is a boy she grew up with.  I thought it befitting that they happened to be in line next to each other.  Beyond them is some twinners.  It is like I was a photographer and I yelled, "One of you happy and one of you pissed that your sister is happy.  No.  I need more angst.  Yes.  That is it,  younger by 2.3 minute twin.  You have it in the bag."

Here is another amiga.  Allie.  She looks extremely happy to be graduating, don't you think?  

I can't get over this picture.  You look like you are graduating from the high school.   It also makes me want to sing some boy band song about how you are fine and you break hearts and stuff.  

A blurry photo of your diploma acceptance. 

Tu Abuelos.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Middle finger

A: "Mom,  is it bad to stick up my middle finger?"

La Mommy:  "Yes. "

A: "Why?"

La Mommy: " It means that you don't like someone."

A:  "What if I don't like someone?"

La Mommy: "No, I mean like REALLY not like someone.  Like punch them in the face not like them."

A:  " I still think I should practice at home."

At this point you stick up your pointer finger.  

La Mommy: (Natural reaction) "That's not your middle finger."

A: " Carter told me it was."

La Mommy: (Shows her the correct finger) "No, it is this one.  Remember, only practice at home."

Did I just correct her?  Did I just show her the correct one?  Damn-it,  what was I thinking.  On the glass half full side,  she won't look like a fool in the 1st grade arguing with some smart mouthed little boy about the "middle Finger".  

Wednesday, May 23, 2012


Our lovely neighbors, The Palmers, goat had four babies the other day.  It makes for good times.

Danny's birthdays.

Dad was teaching the 2 of you how to scream like a Mariachi.  Apparently you have to use your arms?

Danny had three birthday parties this year.  Twas an extravaganza.  Below are a couple of pictures from when dad and I took him out for birthday breakfast and he shoved an ENTIRE egg in his boca.  

Egg Smile.  I honestly don't think he chewed.

Oh damn,  he got the giggles and yet he didn't choke or spit out his egg.  Word.

I brought in burritos for the shop for his birthday.  We lit a candle and all sang.  

Birthday party numero tres.  I bought him a new wallet and an Oral B toothbrush.  Tis what he asked for.  Rand purchased the world's largest cup for him to hall around.  The cup is bigger than my head.  My head is large and yet this holder of drink is bigger.  How does he even have the upper body strength to carry it when it is full?  

Saturday, May 12, 2012

The Second Frogging

Alyssa came over swimming the other day.  We had noticed a frog at the bottom of the pool a couple of  days prior and gave her notice so there wouldn't be a freak out.   She went to her task of digging it out from the deep end.  Once retrieved the frog was placed on her head, on Paige's head, and thrown around.  Carter, you laughed so hard I thought you had wet the chair.  Never in our lives would we have thought that Alyssa would touch a frog.  Yet, she didn't just touch it;  she took it to the next level.

The Dead frog is quite nasty.  There is a tongue/guts hanging out of its mouth.  Alyssa shoves it back in its mouth.  She uses her fingers to pry the eyes open.  It is quite an experience.  Y'all decide to have a funeral.  I sat outside for 20min while you got your "funeral" clothes on.  I asked for a serious look for the picture.

You even fashioned a box with an little saying on the top.  I can't remember exactly what it said, but was something like  "Dear frog who was loved Rest in peace"

As you are on the tree house thingamabob I hear some shouting.  Words like, "It moved." and "It opened its eyes." were heard.  I told you that sometimes when animals die they will have an involuntary twitch after they have passed.

A couple of minutes go by and you guys run over to me and the frogs chin is blowing in and out.  It's a miracle.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Feminism=Trying to prove something

I hired a new employee for one of the shops this week.  She is going to UTI and wants to get into the BMW program.  I thinks she is lovely.  She told me of some of the super offensive experiences she has had with teachers / students at school and at another shop she worked at.  I explained that offensive language does not fly at my shops. 

As I was driving later I thought,  "Why not reiterate that to all of the other employees?"

I informed everyone and went on home to make dinner.  I am sitting down to eat with some of you and Uncle Danny. 

He says, "That new girl.  Is she trying to prove something? "

Me, "What???"

Yard Tard, " Is she trying to prove that she can do MAN WORK?"

Me, "Noooooooooo.  You did not just say that?"

At this point there is a blank stare on his face. 

Me, "Ok,  let's think about this for a minute.   Did your dad have a job and support your family?"

Daniel, "No."

Me, "Did Sylvia have a job and support most of the family?"

Danny, "Yes."

Me, " Did you consider Sylvia as someone "trying to prove something by doing "Man Work" ?"

Danny, "eee ahh hahahaha.  (It was a weird animal noise you made.) Ok,  you got me.  I see your point."

Me, "Whose your Mama?"

Uncle Danny, "You are Mama Jen.  (said in a very respectable tone.)" 
Btw,  your dad stood at the counter laughing the whole time.