Saturday, August 29, 2009

My Mustache brings all the girls to the yard

Last night the Captain and I went out to dinner with the McNeilles. I have been reading about a restaurant on a bunch of blogs, that is supposed to be hip and yummy. La Grande D'Orange.

Here is #1 sporting the "Never say No." stache while wearing his t-shirt that is beyond awesome. Here is what our conversation went like this morning:

#1, "hey these make my lip super sweaty. I wonder what kind of hair this is?"

mom, " I'm sure it is fake. You know probably the same stuff they make doll hair with."

#1, " I think it might be armpit hair. It smells."

mom, " what. no. I don't think so. I really think they just produced some fake hair."

#1, " That's what they want you to think."

This one creeps me out a lot. I couldn't stop laughing. This one is so used car salesman to me. After he had this on the Cap tried it on. Uh Oh, he dug it so much that he now wants to grow one. I hate it when this happens. He is just doing this to be a stinker. Next thing you know he will be getting a perm. Remember the time he wore an ascot out to dinner or the time he wore my new hat (girl hat) out to the car show or the time he shaved half of his face and went out to dinner with me. I wonder what makes him tick? Oh, wait I know - it is to try as HARD as he can to somehow embarrass me or make me pee my pants in public (I pee my pants at home daily).
Why do we have a bird cage?  Can't really say.  I think it is fancy and have an odd attraction to it.  So when I couldn't find #4 two nights ago I got a little concerned; that is until #2 let me know that she was asleep in the cage in her room.  

It was like she was comforted sleeping behind bars.  

Thursday, August 27, 2009

SO Sassy

Since school is back in session #4 - you are home alone with Notice the chocolate around the corners of thy mouth. This is due to the fact that I have simply given in to all of your tiny whims. Ms. Mommy that doesn't allow sugar.

Yes, me. Guess what else. I have even given in and let you drink juice more than once in a day. WHAT you TALKEN about WILLIS?

The Top 5 things you now do as a result of me just given up.
1. Anytime anyone sits on a chair you say, "that is MY spot. Move"
2. I am hungee. (If food is not served within the next 15 seconds the wee brain shuts down and the repeat cycle of "I am hungee, I am hungee, I am hungee turns on.)
3. "Come Look at my Poopy" (If I don't run "excitedly" to the toilet to view the feces there is some frustration on your part.)
4. I now carry quarters with me everywhere. I used to have the will power to say my continual "No" when in front of little candy machines. That will power is GONE. (I don't know if I have the energy to ask her to come back.)
5. " I want to see the bug's" this is what you say at home and when we are out in public. The bug's would be the hair in my armpits. When I lift my shirt hole for your viewing pleasure you purr and coo. (Yes, I pull my shirt to the side and expose hair in my armpits in public. I told you she (will power) went away. What would she say if I tried talking to her? You think she will be all , "Girl, you crazy. I am not coming back after the way you abandoned me when that little red head emerged from your sacred birthing canal." I will say, "Please come back. You complete me. LITERALLY.")

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Weekend Part 2

We hung out by the pool Saturday. Ehren made some new friends. Needless to say he
1. Lost track of time
2. Got sunburned
3. When he took off his glasses = superhero (It looked like he had a mask over his red face - interesting) We invited Ben Allred up for dinner and headed over to a restaurant with the work "Fork" in the title. (Just 5 hours of being home with you guys and my brain is like, "Sorry, I am retiring for the evening. Thank you for the lovely weekend of utilizing me to my capacity. I will remember it with fondness.) We had such a fun time. Hopefully the colorful stories didn't make Ben blush too much. For some odd reason poop is always funny. I know we laugh at the dinner table about poop all the time, but here you will note that we take that entertainment on the road for all to enjoy.
BEN - What a great smile. Isn't he super cute!!!

Honestly, I have never seen these two take a bad picture. It is like they rehearse their smiles in the mirror at home. THE SMILES ARE ALWAYS PERFECT.


The Captain and I just got home from spending the weekend at the Phoenician. This picture is us by the pool. (Yes, the Captain has his shirt on. He felt so improper eating without a shirt on. Funny, boy from Mexico grew up to become so cultured and proper. Too cute!!) The Haymores were there. Holy eating. (Did I mention the Phoenicians three cheese grilled cheese sandwich with avocado? I have a crush on it.) I love eating out. The whole time I was shoveling food in my face I was thinking of the morning before and the following conversation:
Paige, "mom, I was wondering what you would look like if you got professional help to loose weight from Jenny Craig."

Me, "Honey, I weigh 113 lbs and am super healthy. Where is this coming from."

Paige,"I was just wondering what you would LOOK like. I saw that Valerie lady and was wondering about you."

Me, "I would probably look like a skeleton that would need professional help to eat."

So I was shoving food in my mouth this whole weekend thinking (maybe Jenny Craig is storming the airways too much. Or maybe Jenny Craig commercials should only be played during Soap Operas or weight loss shows like "dance your a__ off) My new rule for TV----only DVR'd shows. We will be fast forwarding all of the commercials. We only watch the Today Show during the school week and yet the memory of Jenny Craig commercials and EVERY infomercial is uncanny coming out of 4 young mouths.

Uncle Danny is the master of remembering every infomercial. Whatever the latest one being run over and over again is what I hear about on a daily basis until the latest and greatest product comes out. (especially if it involves razors-or Def Leopard.) The only one I have actually purchased for him is some water globe thingy that waters house plants.

Auntie Kimmy called me the other day to tell me that they carry bump-its at Wallgreens.

Me, "Sorry, what are bump-its."
Kim, "WHAT??? You don't know what bump-its are?"

Me, "Call me crazy, but you aren't answering my question. What the crap is a bump-it?"

Kim, "It is the infomercial where you can buy an arch thing that bumps up your hair. This is great for when you wear a ponytail."

Me, " I have seriously never heard of a bump-it."

Again, what is up with everyone knowing and quoting infomercials. This week I will be working on memorizing something useful. I'm not sure what that may be yet, but it is going to be something I can actually use on a daily basis. Or better yet something interesting that I can pull out of my hat when out with friends that can put a "what did she just say" look on their faces.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

My attempt at a MC commercial

Yesterday we dropped #1 off at tutoring and ventured over to Target. It has been a couple of months since we have used the big car. Now that school is back in session dad gets the cute, sporty, black, everything works - BMW. I am back to driving the no radio, big, eats gas, lovely pile of crap. I know that I am not the cleanest when it comes to cars, but the Captain seems to think the big car is a trash can / parts hauler. My point is there are food scraps and trash on the floor.

We had just started driving back to #1 after a beautiful trip to Target when............

1. I hear screaming from #3
2. I see jumping and screaming from #3
3. #2 starts laughing and saying there is a spider on #3
4. #3 starts going into some sort of body fit from trying to flick off whatever is on her
5. Oh, relief. It appears to be gone. 30 sec
6. Strangled screaming from #3 (I mean like she has been shot) when she sees the "cockroach" on her foot. ( I still don't know what it actually was. They both finally agreed on cockroach.)
7. I am trying to drive and I am laughing so hard I wet my pants ---AGAIN. (what the crap. Do I have to bring a change of clothes wherever I go? Curse you little humans with whom I had to squeeze out of you know where and now my muscles say
"Hey old lady. We are taking a nap.
8. #2 you "tried" to slap the coackroach off of #3 with a piece of paper.
9. #3 you then try to wipe your foot with said insect onto your sister
10. SCREAMING from #2 now that threat of insect is nearer
11. #4 sitting quietly watching the show
12. Me wondering if my pant are so wet that I will damage what is left of the leather seats in the big car.................Oh, and still laughing and desparately trying to drive.
13. Insect magically disappears and both girls start laughing - and yet they don't pee their pants - priceless

Monday, August 17, 2009

First Day of School 2009

First day of school 2009.  It arrived without any craziness.  Let's explore the morning opposite style.  ( I am told this happens once a week.  whatever!) 

(See the little boy with the white t-shirt and black backpack?  I said hi to his mom and her son said "hey #3".  She refused to say anything to him.  I leaned into her ear and said, "hey, do you remember him."  AND I QUOTE - IN A HIGH SQUEAKY ATTITUDE VOICE  "he is a little devil.")

This shot took approx 4 sec.  I told you that if you didn't huddle for the pic that I would make you do it in front of your classrooms.  Hence the co-op for this shot!! Yeah!!

The final/first shot of the day.  Riding in the car.  #1 that is your impression of Fonze.  #2 - I feel as if I am looking at myself.  (Notice the BFF t-shirt that you wore to school.  This is the shirt that Hadley has also.  Too cute!)    #3 You had such a great attitude!!

Friday, August 14, 2009


Uncle Danny spent the last couple of days with Uncle Larry and Aunt Karie.   When they brought him home last night they stepped in for a minute to give us an update.  Turns out Uncle Larry has a German Shepard that is 3.  This dog likes Uncle Danny.  Yes, likes him like won't leave his leg alone when he goes outside.  Danny asked Karie to get her dog neutered. 

 Karie said, "Danny it just isn't in the budget right now."

Danny said, " Go ahead and look it up on the computer and I will do it myself."

Karie, "You are going to neuter my dog?"

Danny, "Ya.  Just make sure you get instructions on the computer for me."

I love that sometimes Danny's mental handicap gives him the ability to have such a great self worth.  He totally thinks he can perform surgery on a German Shepard if he has a print out of some instructions.   

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Just another Saturday

We all woke up so happy today.  Everyone did their chores without complaint, the dogs were walked and fed, and I was actually able to shower.  Seriously happy day.  

How cute.  I don't know if you can tell, but you did not like getting your haircut.  The stylist was almost done blow drying your hair when you decided to let her know that you hated your haircut.....verbally.  You then took your hands to your head and rubbed then all over your hair to create and all tangled fro.  Oh, you also screamed "I look like a freak."  I had prepaid so I grabbed you and we ran.  By the time we got home you were fine.  

Later we went out to dinner with the Haymores, Oswalds, and Kellys.  We went to this uptown Scottsdale restaurant where the wait time was over an hour.  There was open seating in their front patio.  Honestly, the temp was ok.  The misters were on and for some crazy reason it felt nice.  We ended up skipping our table inside and ordering our food outside.  We spent 3 1/2 hours there.

1. Girls ( and I mean early 20s) showed up wearing clothes that did not cover most of their body parts.  It was an interesting dinner scene.  The people watching was great.  Everyone breeds with pretty people in Scottsdale and they produce mutant beauties.  It was a prettyfest.  Kind of like an art show of people.  I could have done without the ho clothes, but those faces.
2. Some girl got out and danced a hoochie dance in front of the patio to the music in her car.  
3. We swapped book titles, recipes, and waxing tips

  Good food and fun friends!

April and Ehren
Janice, Kara, Paul, and Morris

Saturday, August 8, 2009


Grandma Babbitt had a stroke 6 days ago. Man this was a LONG week. Oddly enough there was enough humor in her behavior after the stroke that it wasn't all bad. She has lost her memory for awhile, she doesn't know her words, and I can point to the TV and she will tell me it is a cracker. Besides that she was laughing most of the time and trying super hard to figure our "her words". She told me everyday that she lost them and she will have them back tomorrow.

Honestly, the best part about this whole experience was the fact that she was so positive. I don't know if the stroke has erased some of the negative thoughts from her past, but she is super determined to kick the strokes' butt.

Here are a few of the funny times this week:

1. I waited at the hospital for her ambulance to arrive. When the paramedics came in they asked her who I was and she told them I was her doctor. ( I can't tell you how much I love this one.)
2. When they asked her how tall she is she said "800"
3. She kept refering to the Captain as my son. (As in I birthed my husband. For some reason thinking about giving birth to Nathan made me giggle)
4. She went off on how she thinks Rachel Ray is getting fat. (Rachel Ray is not getting fat) This conversation coming from a woman who weighs over 350 pounds is..............hilarious
5. She would pick a word every hour and use it in every sentence. For example:
bus - she told us that "I got lost in my bus. I didn't feel good so and trouble with my words so I fell asleep on the bus for awhile."
Nate told her to just put "Bob" in when she doesn't know a word; because honestly when is Bob not funny?

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Almost forgot

#1 you tried on the wig also.  Kind of funny, but you look like me.  I don't know who you are channeling when you get your photos taken, but you may want try using someone else.  

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Doggy Lovin

I came home the other night and noticed a wee pug running around the orchard.   I didn't really think much of it.  Until................4am when both of our dogs are yelping, barking, and screaming.  (Yes children, your dog screams.  She sounds like a teenage girl having a temper tantrum)  I asked your dogs--nicely--to stop.  They didn't.  

 In the morning when you woke up you found out that there was a cute little dog that was Chica's new best friend.   You took him around to the neighbors to see if anyone knew where he belonged.  We got a lead and started calling neighbors a couple of blocks away.  One person knew where he lived and called their owners.  (This was a 9am)   It was 115degrees out and I didn't know if this dog was used to being outside or not.  You brought him in the house with Chica.  

(#1, you literally freaked out at me.  "mom, I told you to stop explaining things to her.  If you hadn't taught her words for things this wouldn't be happening.")

I explained what the dogs were doing to you #3.  You did Great!!  You first response was not "gross" or "ewe" Your first response was "do we get puppies?"   We discussed how sometimes the eggs are ready to make a puppy and sometimes they aren't.  Easy Pesy......or so I thought.

And on to the BEST PART OF THE STORY.  The dogs owners showed up at 4:45pm.  At 4:40pm I heard some teenage screaming coming from my room.  I go to check and Chica and little pug are in full on breeding mode, hence the screaming.  You all learned this day that sometimes dogs are stuck together for a wee bit when they are trying to create puppies.  

I had met the owners of the pug once.  I went out to their car to introduce myself again and to explain that their dog was in the mist of a love affair and could not be bothered for another 6to8 minutes. (before I was able to make it to their car #2 and #3 ran to their car to tell them that the dogs were having sex.)   I invited them into our home and asked them to have a seat while we waited for our dogs to finish.  4 minutes later "Tank" our new pug relative came running into the room to greet his parents.  

Yes, there is a picture.  It is your crazy Mother duh.  


Auntie Kim brought some wigs over to grandpa's birthday.  Three things we figured out:
3. Auntie Kimmy looks like grandpa in this wig.  (I believe I wet my pants.....again.....when she put this on. )