Friday, January 30, 2009

Dear #1;

This morning you were explaning to me the differences between your old elementary school and your new one. (remember when you tried to talk us out of moving schools based on leaving a larger carbon footprint -you are 10 - I like your thinking ) Anyway, you advised me the following,

"Mom, Lehi had better soccer balls, footballs, and better lunches. Ishikawa seems like it has better educated people. So I guess it is okay for them to not have the other stuff."

Then tonight we took your friend home and all of you were in the car with me and started asking what all the religions of the world were. I explained that they are too many to name. I started throwing some out for you:

Mormon
Catholic
Lutheran
Methodist
Wican
Hindu
Buddist
Jehovah Witness
Jewish

I was stopped at this point and asked.

"which one is the worst?"

I said they all believe different
things.

"Mom what don't you like about them?"

I said, "I don't care for churches that have racism or hate toward
homosexuals."

"Mom, what do Jehovah witnesses
believe?"

"Well, I can't remember exactly, but something
about only a small
amount of people get into heaven."

Carter says, "Well if that is the case I hope I am in that number."

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Please sir, can I have some more?

April Haymore says I need to make sure my children have pictures of me in their albums.  Since THIS is their album.  Here you go little ones.  This be here a picture of your mama at the age of 32.  Your dad was taking me on the town and you were staying at home with Shaylee.  This picture was taken by you #3.  Excellent work.  I must say you have helped my chin by the angle of the camera.  
Number 1 you are currently working on perfecting your moon walk.  Number 2 you are obsessed with reading.  Number 3 you HAVE to hang out with Mallory B Every Single Day!!  Now to you #4 you are in LOVE with Screaming.  In a pitch that quite frankly I did not think was possible.  
Uncle Danny is still missing the toilet and what a joy that brings to my life.  I can't even express how I Love to clean up adult poo.  
"Oh please sir, can I have some more?"

Wii Wii

Yes, we joined the bandwagon and purchased a Wii along with the Fit attachment.  It made for good times.  I am smacking my large bootie.  What an odd picture this is.  Mini dress or maternity wear?  - no sorry.  I have pajamas on.   In some countries this maybe considered fetching.  Maybe not this country, but I am sure there is one out there that would be like,
" holy macaroni she is looking HHHOT!"
Grandma and grandpa Wenzel also gave the Wii Fit a try. 
 (The following should not be attempted at home.  This was performed on a closed course by a professional.)


Sunday, January 25, 2009

Adoption


I am at a loss for words this moment. The Captain just told me something about himself that I have NEVER heard before. I thought I knew everything. I sort of feel like I just found out I was adopted and nothing that I knew was true.
He just confessed that he and his friends (Jason Badgley, Brent Mason, Randy Lesueur) used to carry around Smurf figurines in lunch pails up until...............wait for it.........................................................7th GRADE.
What what. This is unbelievable and ridiculous. I am so perplexed and disturbed. Really, the 7th grade. You the Captain did this. When I ask the obvious question (the one I don't want the answer to)
"where did You get the smurfs?"
I knew what his answer was going to be.
"I would take them from places"
(Remember the Cap didn't even get money to eat lunch at school) Okay, as I am writing this he is opening up about more terrific things he and his friends did. I will be back.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Cap in 4 grade


Check out the wee Cap from 4th grade. How cute was he? (second row in the middle - red shirt)
So since The Captain didn't have the normal parents that kept his childhood pictures he has become sort of a picture whore trying to find a photopimp. Anytime he accidently bumps into someone from his past -guess what
"hey do you have any pictures of me as a kid?"
I secretly think he has the notion that he just popped onto the planet at the age of 20. He is in awe everytime someone finds a small token of his past -am. (A.M. - after Mexico)
I am tempted to take pictures of little kids playing and having fun and photoshop his face into them. Since he has no memory of his past this might be extremely awesome. Okay we could do one of him with - let's say a cute fluffy dog. They are prancing (did I just say prancing) through the trees. The dog (named Sandy. I have a Love for Annie ) licks him on the face in the second picture. I really think he might buy it. I could photoshop fake friends into the background. Actually the Cap was fairly popular. He still keeps in contact with most of them. Odd, I grew up normal and don't have any friends. (that is a cry for help. Please I need friends.)
Anyway. If anyone out there has any REAL pictures of my Captain - Please send them immediately. I am trying to put an end to his whoring days and everyones help is appreciated.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Inauguration DAY!

Number 3 came home from school today and said

"I got to see Arock become President today at school.  The red curtains were really pretty."

Number 2 then commented,

"It is Barack and it was not about the curtains."

Monday, January 19, 2009

Swinging

Daddy Built you a House


Outdoor Time

It is Martin Luther King Jr. Day today; hence no school.  It is January 19th and it is 79 degrees outside.  What a fun day.  Get outside more often boys and girls.  It tis good for the body.  Remember that owl commercial when we were kids.  I know this is a random thought but,









Trying to Irritate Me

Please refer to previous posts as to what Captain loves to do to - - let's say annoy me.  This was 2 days ago.  He KNOWS I am not into a lip sweater on him.  Yet, he goes into the bathroom and comes out with.......................a stinken lip sweater.  Really Cap.  You can not pull it off.  NO,NO,NO

Saturday, January 17, 2009

An Extra Picture of the Captain in "the hat"

I just can't get enough of him.  Can you?  I love that Greta thinks it is a bit like Kazoo from The Flinstones.  Captain, even though you say the hat "compliments" you-------------it does not. LOL

Dear Diary,

So, you know how the Captain likes to do things that embarrass me?   Remember the time that he shaved 1/2 of his face before we went out one night.  When I say 1/2 I mean the left side of his face was smooth;  The right side had a full on beard.   (turns out I don't really look at his face until I am seated across from him at the dinner table.)  We were at a really nice place and I look up after briefly looking at the menu and stop and stare.  


" Honey.  Something is wrong.  You are missing hair on half of your face. "
"Jen, I did that a couple of hours ago.  I was waiting to see how long it would take you to notice.  I forgot about it until just now."








Thursday, January 15, 2009

Dear Children:

It tis I, your mother. Hats off for a morning of organization. I am so impressed with the bed making and hair combing. I don't want to question but, what did it? Was it the constant asking you to
" stop living like farm animals and clean up this pig pit of a room?"
or was it the

"really little one, I love you soooo much. Unfortunately, my face is
getting rug burn from your unkept hair."

(to which you reply) "mom, remember lice like clean hair. I'm just doing my part."

or was it the

"hmm, is that a small barbie lodged in your hair. It is hard to see, but it looks like a doll may be hiding in there."

or was it the final straw

"I own this house. You get to use this room in MY house. Therefore, as a tenant in MY house I demand that your room be kept clean. No, you may not keep the clothes that you have "planned" to wear for the next 5 days out on the dresser. "

Just wanted to know. I would like to keep up the good work. I would like to thank you for the code compliance.

Love you tons,

THE ENFORCER

(please note code being referenced is SECTION A:1d subcat -22155)

Monday, January 12, 2009

4 on 1

Nice smile.  This proves that there is more to her than whats on the surface.  Joy from the attack.

NICK

Nick was having a bad day last week.  We found these shirts at Target and showed up at work to cheer him up.  

Girl Trip

The Ladies went out.  We went to St. Louis to see Kristen Chenoweth in concert.  What a lovely time we had!!  It was Sue Nelson, Marla Shumway, and Stephanie Nelson.  I didn't take many pics.  I am waiting for the photographers of the group to email some pictures.  





Friday, January 9, 2009

Dear Diary:

Kim and I have a facebook friend that we share poetry with. Here is my latest.

ODE TO FLIGHT OF THE CONCORDS

Brets got it going on
Jermaine sings a wicked song
Business time was great
So was the racial hate
Mutha Uckers is good but so wrong

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Dear Captain;

I can't believe my dishwasher broke while we were on vacation. bummer. What is more amazing is that you went out and got a wiring diagram when we got back, overnighted the part, and fixed the ASKO (brand of the dishwasher - not swear word).

I am soooo impressed. You have mad skill dog!

Love
Lady Jen