Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Old Man River


So, the first time I met your grandfather he had pants on, but soooo many times after that he did not.  Rather he had long johns / sleep bottoms / or underwear on.  I walked into the kitchen the other day to find that your father has turned 80.  He was wearing his Under Armour long johns as clothing - by itself.  

Not only is this occuring, but when we were watching How I met Your Mother he asked so many ridiculous questions like this,  ( PLEASE say this in a crotchidy old man voice - like the ancient janitor guy in Harry Potter)



"WHaaat?  How did she know him.  I don't understand did they already know him?  How did she find him?  I don't get it this makes no sense.  Did she try to find him?"

AHHHHH really dude.  

A typical Day


On a normal day I pick up my phone to find a slew of pictures of you.  It makes my day.  Thanks Lover.



Hair Man


The other morning I gave you a "Haircut" 5 minutes before leaving for school.  We fly by the seat of our pantalones at our house.  It is just how we roll.  IT is muy unfortunate that you moved your head down a bit while I was cutting.  It is also super unfortunate that I have NO CLUE how to cut hair.  I really have no business pretending that I can do almost everything.  You took it well.  I hairsprayed them to the side the first morning and told you that Unicorns prefer girls with hairsprayed, feathered, short bangs.  


You are a great kid Ava.  You really took it like a champ.  I code spoke with your father that evening and you broke the code and told me that I was talking about your bad haircut.  Damn it.   My code speak it part English, part Spanish, and part weird.  I can't really describe it.  I'm not so fun to play pictionary with for I code speak the whole time with my pictures.  

"what do you mean it looks like a tamale or an armpit?  I drew that because it is a Mexican dog that likes to play with baseball bats? Duh"

Hair man - it will grow back.  Vitamins per Sue will be our solution.



Christmas Tree


I took you young ladies out to pick a Christmas tree the other night.  Tu' padre and hermano were at an Artic Monkeys concert.  The above gentleman was so nice and educated ya'all on the age and requirements of the tree.  


Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Thanksgiving 2013


Just in case, I think that you should be prepared to work in the food service industry.  Therefore, I am prepping you to peel and chop.  No, it is not because I am lazy.  Damn dude.  Seriously, I have your best interest in my wee heart of stone.  I want you to be able to walk into Wendy's and run the shiz out of that place if you have to.  What? Yes, of course you should prepare with real food.  No, they have food that looks sort of real so it is kind of the same thing.  Oh my gosh just peel. 


pie making





Monday, December 9, 2013

When you become grumpy........

POST WRITTEN BY: MARC CHERNOFF

19 Signs You’re Doing Better than You Think


19 Signs You’re Doing Better than You Think
Even in uncertain times, it’s always important to keep things in perspective.
True wealth is the ability to fully experience life.
- Henry David Thoreau
  1. You are alive.
  2. You are able to see the sunrise and the sunset.
  3. You are able to hear birds sing and waves crash.
  4. You can walk outside and feel the breeze through your hair and the sun’s warmth on your skin.
  5. You have tasted the sweetness of chocolate cake.
  6. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.
  7. You awoke this morning with a roof over your head.
  8. You had a choice of what clothes to wear.
  9. You haven’t feared for your life today.
  10. You have overcome some considerable obstacles, and you have learnedand survived.
  11. You often worry about what you’re going to do with your life – your career, your family, the next step, etc. – which means you have ambition, passion, drive, and the freedom to make your own decisions.
  12. You live in a country that protects your basic human rights and civil liberties.
  13. You are reasonably strong and healthy – if you got sick today, you could recover.
  14. You have a friend or relative who misses you and looks forward to your next visit.
  15. You have someone with whom to reminisce about ‘the good old days.’
  16. You have access to clean drinking water.
  17. You have access to medical care.
  18. You have access to the Internet.
  19. You can read.

El Pollo

So, Ellie and Ava were gone the other day and you two (P and C) had your father take you to Sonic for lunch.  You brought it home and as you were sitting at the table eating your father says, 

"Man Jen,  I really need you to teach me how to take them out places.  They sneak in food and order it all funny and I spend $17 at Sonic.  SONIC.  For only 2 kids."

Mom. aka.Bad ass, " What the heck did they order?  I see a hot dog and some drinks."


TO WHICH TU' PADRE REPLIES



FINGER STRIPPERS



We can now add finger strippers to sweat bottoms 

Friday, November 22, 2013

Paige's TO DO LIST

(you just showed me this.  Your to do list for the REST OF YOUR LIFE)


  1. 14 yrs old  - work at shop
  2. 15 yrs old  - work at shop
  3. 15 yrs old  - buy a few stocks
  4. 15 yrs old  - get mutual fund put in as much money as I can (add in money when I can) (when I need the money in the future use mutual fun and savings account)
  5. 16 yrs old  - get job at clothing store18 yrs old  - credit card only use for lunch once and awhile
  6. 18 yrs old  - quit job
  7. 18 yrs old  - go to college and get job at college. get student loans and try for scholarship
  8. 19 yrs old  - 2nd credit card
  9. 21 yrs old  - house at least 30% down payment rent out until college is over.use rent money for mortgage
  10. 24 yrs old  - finish college. quit that job and start paying off student loans
  11. 24 yrs old  - get job with college degree
  12. 30 yrs old  - buy second house try for 50% down payment
  13. 30 yrs old  - rent out house that I'm not living in use rent money to help finish paying off mortgage and student loans
  14. Sometime in 40's - become a millionaire
  15. 45yrs old  - have both houses paid off keep renting one of them. use money to add more money to my mutual fund
  16. 45 yrs old  - quit job and open restaurant
  17. 60 yrs old  - pass down restaurant to kids and retire
  18. 60's           - live off all of my extra money
  19. DIE           - pass off houses to kids, pass off mutual fund and money in savings account to kids.    

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Ellie - Birthday #11



So, for your 11th birthday your dad decided to build you a cafe racer.  This thing is amazing.  There is a vintage light on the front and a hood ornament in the middle from a vintage truck.  


It is far from done, but here are a few pics for now.  He is having it painted at the body shop = Burnt orange.  I can't wait.


Your dad has trouble with pictures






Ellie's birthday 2013. 11 oh yea






Dinner - Baja Joes


Gee, this may be the picture that exemplifies your childhood.  Carter, you are bugging your sister and she is saying "hell to the no."

Dorothy in Wonderland




A day in the life of Paypay


So, when you were 14 you liked to talk - - - a lot.  As we were standing in the kitchen this week you said the following to me:


Paypay "I think we need to volunteer more as a family."

Me, "I love it.  Where are you thinking."

Paypay, "I'm going to start researching it.  I think we should do more with our weekends.  Also, during Christmas break I want to do a Scientific experiment.  I want to eat a ton of food, go outside and get really cold, and then come inside under my covers and try to hibernate like a bear."

Me, "Really?  Is that what it is called?"

Paypay, "Well, not typically, but I believe if I take it to the next level then yes it is a science experiment."







The Danny


Monday, November 4, 2013

This weekend

So this weekend was crazy - per norm.  Golf lessons, play practice, friends houses, cousins in town.  Tu' padre either wore out his tired body, has the flu, or has the food poisoning.  Who knows, but he was rather sick Saturday and Sunday.  I video taped it and think it's hilarious.  I actually showed the video to a couple of people and they don't see the humor.  That's sad.

Anywho last night you, P, read to Ava to put her to sleep.  You came into my room after she fell asleep to tell me the story you shared with her.  Something about a son and a mom texting and she texts him WTF.  The son responds with, "mom, why would you send that to me?"  the mom replies with, "Well that's fantastic" seemed appropriate.  This is awesome on so many different levels.  I appreciate this mom for she and I may be brain twinners.  Your dad also related to the WTF and even in his state of being a puke whore he laughed a wee bit. Poor guy.  Not really.  Why are boys / mens so drama with the sicknesses?  Why must one hear a man toss his cookies/taco across the house?  


Halloween 2013




Rocky Point


Whilst in Rocky Point recently, we enjoyed massages.


And a campfire


And delicious food


Great company


And the Chicken Shack


I was not so bueno about taking pictures on this trip damnit.  I need to search your dads phone and see what I can find.