Friday, April 30, 2010

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Dear Children,

The year is 2010. We live in Arizona. Usually this is a GREAT thing. This week we passed an immigration law that is really scary. If someone "looks" illegal they will get pulled over and asked for papers. So if you are born into a family with any pigment in your skin there is a possibility you may look illegal to whomever is one duty that day. Whoa, yes I typed that. Crazy - I know it is like a step back in the Civil Rights movement.

(Let me stop and say "we" because when you vote and are a participant in the political process you have to claim "we" when a law is passed. This is unfortunate a LOT of the time. I really don't want to claim "WE" when it comes to many laws.)


1. If I was born in a 3rd world country and wasn't educated would I do whatever it takes to feed my children? - - - - YES
2. Do I understand that when people aren't educated they don't always understand the laws of their own country - let alone another one. YES
3. Do I understand that it takes YEARS to become a citizen and one has to be in their country of origin to start the paperwork? YES
4. Do I also understand that Ronald Reagan granted amnesty in the 80's and he was a Republican? YES
5. Do I think that granting amnesty to the large illegal population would solve our diminishing middle class problem (which if you listened in government you would know is essential for a democracy) - YES
6. Do I know the history of the scum (I know that sounds harsh, but give it a second.) that wrote the bill for Arizona. YES.

Russel Pearce sent out an email to his staff/and friends talking about White people being dominant and slamming Jewish people. No I am not kidding. Seriously, you can read it. Yes, people voted him into office. Yes, this is re-enforcing my plight for educating people. He also enlisted the help of a Midwest organization called FAIR,who also believes in White supremacy, to assist him with the verbiage in the 1070 legislation.

7. It is so important to listen and learn. It is essential to travel the world and understand all religions, races, and cultures. EDUCATE yourselves. Please take advantage of your education. It is so essential that I can't emphasize it enough. Am I panicking right now? Do I feel like there is a flood and I am running around trying to find a boat and stick you guys in it?

(Ok, I just took a brief moment to calm down and watch the Today Show. Do you think that they understand that Willard Scott is now handicapable?)

8. Do I think there is going to be craziness pulling people over that are U.S citizens just because they are Hispanic/Latino? - - YES

9. Do I think it is interesting that quite a few of my facebook friends have built their business using economic illegal labor or their parents did - and are speaking out about legal Americans getting the illegals jobs. -YES. Why didn't they hire legal Americans in the first place? Why did they think it was ok to hire illegal aliens to perform the work for their companies if it is so wrong.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Evil Doll

The other day I kidnapped Randy and made him go with me to Vintage Melrose and Qucumbers. Both stores are vintageeee and the second one is thrifty. I love V.M. I find so much there that I am in Love with. The second spot - Qucumbers - reminds me of old people's homes I would visit as a young child. I purchased an old blue slide projector (that came in this awesome old case I now use for magazines) for only $12.99.

As we are trying out several slide projectors (I should say Randy is the one trying out all of the projectors. I didn't really think they would work, but Randy thought that we should see which one actually worked - NONE.) an old gentleman that must frequent the store a bit started talking to me.

Old Man, "Well young lady (to Ava) what is your name?"

Me, "She is #4."

Old Man, "Her name is 4?"

I told him her name was four because I got a feeling like he wasn't on the up and up. Turns out I have a great sense for detecting people with issues.

Old Man, "Hey little girl, I have a large doll in the car that was my wife's mothers. Do you want it?"

Oh yes he did. If "hey little girl" isn't the call sign for a molester I don't know what is.

Me, " I really don't have it in the budget to buy her a doll."

Old Man, "No, I will give it to you, wait here."

He came back with the following doll....................
This doll had a punched in face and had obviously been in a fire - and survived.
Ava clung to my leg and let out a little scream.

Old Man, "What are you going to name her? Suzzy Q or Peggy Sue?"

Me, "Thank you. Gotta run. Randy can you please grab this........doll."

Randy looked at me like I lost my marbles. He grabbed the doll and threw it into the back of the car. We pulled out and he let out a wee scream. He said,

Randy, "We need to find a dumpster immediately. What if we dump this and when we get home notice that it is sitting by your front door? What if this doll is so possessed that she crawls after the car. (In a desperate voice) What if we can't ditch her"

Me, "(I slapped Randy - lightly - at this point) Get a grip man. I think this is Satan's child. What if the creepy old man put a gps device in this to track my baby home? Let's dump her- NOW"

Randy, "It may be a tip off that he drives around with a doll in his car to offer to little girls."

Me, "Ahhhhh. Dump the doll."

I pulled into the first parking lot I found and it was a church. (of course took pictures first) We dumped the possessed doll into a church dumpster. I think that it was meant to be.

Bedtime Rituals

Last night You - Miss. 4. came to your dad and said,

"I have my bunny pajamas on. You need to put your bunny jamas on."

Therefore, you, your dad, and Miss. E. got your footed pjs on."


We were at Tempe Marketplace a couple of months ago when your dad and his friends thought,

"Hey, we could totally look like the werewolfs from Twlight and can pull the no-shirt look off!"

They tried. I OF COURSE wet my pants a bit while trying to take the pictures.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Nate Goes on his TRIP

So your dad has been on a Mandate for the last 4 days - yearly Coachella. I'm assuming from the random text messages I get from him,

"How much do you miss me? Do you love me a lot?"

that he is having a great time and misses us a bit!!! We have had quite the weekend ourselves.......................ok, not really.

1. I went out with April Friday night. H&M and then dinner at North. Lovely time!!
2. Saturday night we met up with Jen Martin and her gang for ice cream. Great crew. Claire is always super happy, Charlie is so funny, Jack very cute and reserved and handsome Will was not feeling very well. Ava forgot to wear underwear. She also let a LARGE bunch of balloons go (not ours) up into the sky. She also had one of the best ass cream mustache/beard combos I have ever seen. Charlie gave her a run for the money.

No I did not make a mistake with the ass cream, Tis what you call it #4. Your sister Paige thinks this is down right!!! She walks you around the house and asks you what your favorite desert is.

3. We met April and her kids for breakfast this morning. Turns out a medium grassy hill is better than just about any playground equipment.
4. We watched the Blind Side this afternoon and cried like .............Auntie Kimmy when she watches a deoderant commercial, or a Zyrtec commercial, or a Time Life ad.

Tonight at dinner this is what you said to me #2,

Paige: "Mom. Let's say you had 6 boys and 1 girl. 3 of the boys were older and had their own kids and didn't live at home anymore. 2 of the boys were teenagers and 1 of them was 4, no I mean 5. Then you give birth to a little girl. Two years later dad is out in the woods hunting a bear when he gets killed. WHAT DO YOU DO? Right away, what would you do????""

At first I thought this was going to be a math question; like - - - - what is the average age of the boys if you added then up and then divided them by how many cousins they had. OR How old will the daughter be when her mom fully completes menopause? You of course threw me for a loop. Such an elaborate story for a "what would you do if dad got eaten by a bear."

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The morning ride

This morning on the way to school there was such a colorful conversation in the car. (I will spell according to pronunciation)

E: "I just learned that butterflies like to eat abids."

P: "You just learned that?"

Mom: "It is ok to learn knew things and not know everything."

P: "I know that. Did you know that ladybugs milk aphids like cows before they eat them?"

Mom: "No babe I did not know that."

A: "Buffalo like to eat avids."

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Dear Children,

Yesterday one of our friends passed away. We met Justin 14 years ago. He was one of my first gay friends. He and I had great fun together. He exposed me to a community that I loved. On the surface Justin was always upbeat and happy. Unfortunately he struggled with a serious drug addiction. ( I always thought it was smelly stuff sitting in bowls around his house. When he found out that I thought it was to make his house smell good he couldn't stop laughing.) Justin is the one that gave us the tin that sits on our kitchen cabinets. I really enjoyed him and felt a deep sadness for his pain.

Justin died of a drug overdose yesterday and we will miss him. I know you always hear about the dangers of drugs. It is not make believe little ones, it is real.



Monday, April 12, 2010


You guys know how much your mama loves her therapy!! It was humorous the other day when you, Miss. Paige, said that the cartoon Ni Hao Ki Lan is like therapy for kids. She figures out that someone is upset or having a hard time and then they get together, or ask the Grandpa for advice, and decide how to handle the situation. Heehee that's awesome. So this morning I couldn't stop laughing when this happened:

Let's set the scene - Picture your lovely mother slaving in the kitchen creating smoothies and egg sandwiches.

C: "Mom, this smoothie is watery."

P: "Mom, mine has too much banana."

Mom: "Stop bitching and look on the super bright side."

C: "(mouth open) You totally just said a bad word."

Mom: "No it's not a bad word. It just means whining. Let's all say, "What What - my mom is super and I love my smoothie. I'm soooo happy I GOT to have a smoothie today."

P: "You know mom, you do counseling Way different than Ni Hao Ki Lan."

Friday, April 9, 2010

How ......Interesting

Oh yes, I heard you. No, just because I am not saying the words you want to hear does not mean that I didn't listen to what you were saying.

Really? That is your reasoning. What is mine? Oh, I don't know maybe because you are 10.

No, it really is not common for a 10 year old to have their own cell phone.

You disagree. Ok. Guess what. Even if ALL 10 year olds had cell phones...........................................................YOU, MY DEAR. WOULD NOT!!!!!!!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Amelia Bedelia

I had a moment last night. I was reading Amelia Bedelia to you (Elle and Ava).

So I have always been aware that everyone has different perspectives on reality. I may interpret a situation different than you how you perceive the exact same situation. The event occurred one way, but we saw it differently based on our emotional health.

What got me was putting it in terms of one Miss. Amelia Bedelia. How funny to see how EVERYONE sees that she is off her rocker, yet she has no clue. I am incorporating this into my life and I am advising you to think about it. Let me give some examples so that you understand it doesn't necessarily mean someone may be Amelia just because they don't interpret all things literally.

Example 1

When I tell an employee that they need to be at work by 8; I mean show up before the clock says 8:00am - EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Employee then shows up for work at 8:10, 8:15, 8:07...........

When asked when he could start showing up for work on time he didn't know what we were talking about. The traffic is always bad and he has to drop off his daughter at school.

Do you see how he sees it COMPLETELY different than 95% of the population?

Example 2:

Your dad and I were running this morning. We took a new route and saw a house with a garage that had animal skulls all over the roof. (I literally mean the whole roof, muy bones) This is when your padre turns to me and says,

"Do you think people would get it if there were a species that hunted humans for sport and hung our heads on their walls and placed our bones in the backyard for decor?"

I could go on and on with examples to illustrate my point. I actually may add examples everyday - little Amelia life lessons. I am also not claiming perfection. I too have had some A.B moments. The important part is recognizing them.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


This little man refuses to get his picture taken. I'm going to say this for the 1000th time, Kim's kids look like me.......................A LOT.
Uncle Danny. You thoroughly enjoyed the day. You got super involved in ALL conversations. At times COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE, most of the time twas ok. While I was taking pictures this is what was said,

Danny: "Do you have long distance on that? How much does it cost a month?"

Me: (I really look confused at this point) "Long Distance?"

Danny: "Yeah, do you have to pay a lot every month?"

Me: "On the camera?"

Danny: "Yes."

Me: "No. I don't have long distance."

Danny: "I want one."

Me: "You wanted a remote control car yesterday."

Danny: "Not anymore. Now I want one of those."

At this point I gave him the camera to go and take some pictures. I can't post ANY of the pictures, for they are all of his crotch. (Oh, that sounded gross) They were taken because there was no understanding of where one points the camera.

Auntie Kimmy, Sabrina, and Ava.
You, Miss. Ellie, were obsessed with climbing this tree. You did this for, oh - I don't know - about 6 hours. You are a tree climbing pro!!!!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

You are 12 (I am crying as I type this)

I can't stop crying. I have never cried over anyone's birthday before - including my own. You, my child, are 12 and I feel like you will be leaving me to cleave to your new lady any day now. Hot Tamale young man you are ancient. Don't leave me. No, I didn't just say/type that. Yes I did. No, I'm not a crazy mom. Ok maybe I am. Is it weird that the only thing you asked for was for me not to cry on your birthday? Maybe.

Your dad purchased some remote control cars for you (and him) for your birthday. These were a LARGE investment!!!! I mean the price of my second car large (keep in mind my second car was a Dodge Omni that I had to push out of a parking space b/c there was no reverse) You, your dad, and ALL of your dad's friends have been racing non-stop.

All of you are so super handsome!!! Love you

Mexican Fiesta

A couple of weeks ago we had a MEXICAN FIESTA. It was such a great time!! Jen and Charlie came, Kim-Dave ---or KAVE and the kids came, and of course The Uncle Danny. We dressed up - and added lip sweaters to our attire. It was so debonair!! You can see in the first picture the lights The Captain hung in the backyard for "the event". Thank you Don Poncho. Yes, children did you know that your grandparents almost named your padre PONCHO. No, I am not kidding. Apparently when you are born on Poncho Via Dia it means that you need to take on the name. Not sure what happened on the way to register the birth, but THANK HEAVENS he was named Nathaniel and not Poncho.

Ava and Charlie were super into their angel food cake with strawberries. Little Charlie you look just like your mama. It is a little funny to look back at pictures of Jen and I in high school and fast forward to our youngest babies grunting and eating desert at my kitchen counter.

Why Miss. E. You really loved your moose-tache. You and your best friend here disappeared most of the evening doing ????? I never really know what you guys are up to.

1. Potato bug farm (this is made in a container that I usually make salsa in)
2. Apply faux tattoos to ones bum. (Yes this happened yesterday)
3. Fill up the bathroom sink and see how long a tampons float.

My best version of a Spanish shirt. Notice the flower in my lovely locks. I felt muy bonita, that is until I looked past my waist to my skirt that looked like I borrowed it from a sturdy Swedish grandma.