Friday, May 31, 2013

Swimming shenanigans

4th grade end of the school year party

Ellie, you had an end of the school year pool party last week.  15 lovely children showed up and it was a fun time.  Unfortunately, you did not feel so swell.  Bummer.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

And finally.......................Canada

It turns out everything is better in Canada.  This above picture is a government building.  It is lit with Christmas lights year round.  Serious.  It felt like Christmas and it was May.

Then our cab passed The Empress and I tried to snap a quick pic.  It is a gorgeous hotel.

Your father kept asking people.

"Tell me what it is like in your country?"

Alaska Randoms part 2

We were on a lovely boat whale watching when I snapped this beauty.  We are in the midst of your father's facial transition.  

When we came back on the boat I was walking past the photography area and came upon a Carnival worker positioning people for a photo like this":

So weird and awesome.

This picture was out the bus window in Ketchican.  I loved this island!!

This was at Totem Bight and it looks as if a bear is pissed off while giving your dad a rectal exam.

Alaska Randoms

This was at a salmon bake in Skagway.  This was after our adventures with "Patrick the tour guide/crazy kid" 

Twas amazing salmon.  

We then went into town and found our men at a bar playing Mexican train.

The picture below is at Mendenall visitors center where they put 200 year old ice out for us to pet.

Why the hell does your dad look like he is ALWAYS up to something.  It looks like he was stealing the ice.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Totem Bight

We went on a bus tour in Ketchican that took us to Totem Bight; as well as, touring the town.  I found the totems very interesting.  It was how the natives explained our existence.  The picture below is of the Chief's son who no one liked and blahblahblah he had to avenge his father's death ------------DEATH BY SEA LION------------no joke.  The Chieftan was taken down by a sea lion.  Can you even imagine.  I bet the sea lion came up to him and was all,
"Mr. Chief I would like to share with you a business idea I have that can make us both lots of easy money. We can be our own bosses. (It's Amway yaáll)" 

As soon as the Chief walks over the sea lion totally slaps him with his tail of death.  Anyways, the son transpires to train in the cold ocean every night to avenge his father's death.  No one liked him hence the night training.  The day came and EVERYONE who fought the sea lion died.  NOT KIDDING.  That sea lion was a sea ninja.  It came to his turn and he took him down by ripping his death tail in half.  
Check it out:

That is his tail up around his neck.  He might have bragged about it to 


Because everyone died fighting the sea lion.  There was no thinking in this form of story telling.


Menenhall Glacier

Alaska Part 5

 I forgot to put these in the 2nd post.  The first morning we were there dad made us go on our deck in our pajamas to see how cold it was.

His hair is divine.  It makes me want to have my uterus put back in me body and make a multitude of miracle babies with this handsome man.  Look at that twinkle in his eyes.  He is a super hero - his hair has special powers.

Speaking of hair.  Mine may be large in the following picture.  Damn.

Back on the train.  Look at my lovely companions.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Alaska Part 4

Our first stop was Skagway.  We got off of the ship and boarded a bus that drove us 3000 feet up a mountain for a train ride down.  Let us pause and appreciate our precious lives right now......................................................................................................

Patrick who was our bus driver was CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He was this young child from Utah who had only been driving a bus for 2 weeks.  He couldn't hold his clipboard and look at our passports at the same time for that was WAY TOO much multitasking.  (take a moment of silence for that one.  If a person can not hold a clip board and look at a passport I STRONGLY do not believe they should drive 40 people up a mountain 3000 feet in the snow.  Fo reals.

I thought to myself,
" There is no way in hell this is our bus driver.  This is just the special kid who gets to put a check next to everyone's name on his clipboard." 

Yet when he hopped on board and hooked the mic to his head I knew that the day would be interesting or deadly.  I make no joke about the death bit.  Patrick was slow; so slow that he said stuff like,

"I've only been here and driving a bus for 2 weeks.  I think we'll make it there ok."

Maybe I am not adequately giving this experience the justice that it deserves.  Let me phrase it the way another passenger phrased it (this would be after said passenger told everyone he thought Skagway was named after all of the women in town who were skags.  Outloud.  Yes, he said it outloud.  I know.  No really, people like that are real and not just in books.)  

He said, 
"I am not in the mood to put my life in the hands of this boy."

Well said bigot.  

Well said.

The train ride was stunning.  

Alaska Part 3

This is way back in the Fjords with a glacier there in the background.  I turned to your dad and said,

"This is like a postcard."

His response,

"I've never really gotten in to postcards."

I look at him with his scarf tied around his head and ask him if he could possibly ever get into not trying to look like he is in Willy Nelson's entourage or with a terrorist cell.  He doesn't answer.

We watched Karaoke a ton.  This is Te and he is an entertainer.  

April tried her hand at it.

Alaska Part 2

We drank a ton of warm water; at times it was not to drink but rather to warm our nubbins.  We may be prissy ladies that can only survive in 110 degree weather.  Maybe that actually makes us bad asses.  

Oh, look who it tis again, why it is tu padres.  Check out the progression of the pelo on tu padre's face on the trip.  At times it looks like he may have accidentally climbed into the garbage disposal and chopped off parts of the fur that it is his face.  Ya''all know that he thinks it is his part-time job to embarrass me so he gives himself facial haircuts that only P diddy should try.  I give him props for trying to embarrass me;  he has yet to succeed.

These pictures are when we are heading into the Tracy Arm Fjords.

April found this hallway on the boat that no one was ever in.  Your dad climbed into the window to watch the whales.