Tuesday, March 30, 2010


I just came home from performing an interview at the shop this morning. It is 9:30am and The Captain stayed home with you, number 4, while I was at work. He gives me a big hug and this is what was said,

Captain: "You get better looking with age."

Me: " You are so sweet. Thank you."

Captain: "Don't forget you have all that credit."

Me: "Are you referring to the credit with the company that performs botox and lipo? hahahahahahahahahahaha you are awesome. That is going on the blog for the children to read about in the future. What is wrong with you?"

Captain: "That may have come out wrong."

Sidenote: There is a customer that owns a skincare place that was just starting up their business and couldn't pay for their $3000 repair bill. You DAD was like, oh Jen would love to come in.)

Monday, March 29, 2010


Yesterday we met the Haymores at the park for a great Sunday activity. Gorgeous weather, great company, and some exercise. Swinging never got old; and Ellie you are the WO-Man on the roller blades!!

We followed up the park with some ice cream at The Sugar Bowl. As April and I are sitting at our table taking pictures of ourselves, she says, "Hey look that's Will Ferril." (He is 2 feet in front of my face.) At this point I pretend to take a picture of Carter and snap a couple of Mr. Funnyman. I am super impressed that none of you decided to make a scene and ask for a picture or an autograph. You guys are not impressed with an actor that has done a ba' gillion movies. Now if that were say, Ba Rock it or John Walsh (he is a hero little ones) or say Oprah I would have freaken expected you to get a picture - with your hero (me) and said celebrity and you.

We then browsed the 5th Ave shops. I must say Carter you are going pro on the skateboard. You rode it all day; you brought it over to The Sugar Bowl and continued to ride it around while we shopped. I shouted for people to move and "look out" a couple of times, but only so you could have the room you needed. I kind of liked partitioning off part of the sidewalk so you could go down the ramp over and over. So what if Will Ferril's wife was boob feeding her baby three feet away from your moves. Her humorless husband made his way back over to her while "we" skateboarded, so what if he didn't even notice our skillz. You are not ALL THAT Mr. Ricky Bobbey. Carter, on the other hand, totally stayed on his long board while going down a small HILL. Yes, I said it........a HILL!!! BEAT THAT. (okay this again takes me back to the afternoon special "Teen Witch". "Take that, beat that, da da da da dada da. TAKE THAT" Okay I know you never saw this movie, but I felt vindicated when I saw Tina Fey showcase it on 30 Rock. Sometimes it is like she and I are one. When I say she, I mean Liz Lemon.)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

This mornings conversations

This morning in the car on the way to school we had the following conversation:

C: "Mom, since Ellie loves blood and hurting people I think she will be a doctor, an assassin, or a stay at home mom when she is older."

Let me just say that you are 12 next week #1. You are reading a ton of books lately that involve assassins or people defending themselves or dragons - Rangers Apprentice - Pendragon - and Eragon. This has birthed a desire to be a dragon tamer assassin of sorts. When I ask who would ever need to be assassained the answer is " the bad guys." Sometimes I forget that you are 12 and live in a 6th grade boy paradigm. I am going to embrace it young man. I am thinking of dressing up like a Ninja and hiding in a tree when you come home from school. (I know you will literally poo your pants, but I think it will be worth it.) A stay at home mom Ninja - who works part-time running a company of lovely men - wipes the adult bum of a mentally handicapped brother-in-law - raises 4 precocious children - and faints at the site of squirting blood.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Where did we go???? Mexico. Really did you wonder?

Sitting on the beach with my lovely little lady.
Posing on the porch. I didn't even have to give directions. #1, you have some moves young man. I am impressed!!
Sydney found 2 octopus. They were super cool. Check out the leg creeping out. The eyes are muy loco.
Check it out. At one point Janice and I are sitting in our chairs and the bucket with the octopus is sitting between us. I lean over to take another picture and it is not in the bucket. We freaked out. It had crawled out and was moving sideways under Janice's feet.
Only missing Sammy in this pic.

I must say the beach time was muy fun. Everyone collected so many interesting creatures from the Sea. I love! that ya'all call it "the Sea" instead of the ocean. You are loco pirates hijos. " Ahoy, Let's set sail on the Sea putas." (So, that is super offensive if you know Spanish, but I was in the mood. Yes, your mama is insane and at times speaks like a dirty gangster." Oddly enough my favorite part of the trip was the car ride home. We decided to leave at night so that everyone would be calm and possibly fall asleep. We had just gotten to the border when the following conversations/topics came up:

Carter: " Hey, my brain is really interesting. I think a lot about how things work. For the last 20 minutes I was thinking of how to break into a bank.

It then went into hiding under a car, paintball guns, someone working an inside position, and firecrackers.

Paige: I was thinking about how I would get across the border if I were a Mexican that wanted to live in the United States.

Remember how you tell a LONG story. I zoned out a bit. I tried to focus back in when I heard lizzard. I offered up maybe immobilizing the border patrol with a scorpion sting. You said, (matter of factly)

Paige, "Or Not."

Carter, you then went on to discuss every freaken fact with the Titanic. I was so impressed with the amount of knowledge you have on the boat, what went wrong (you named 4 different things that shaped the outcome.) new words created from the video - rusticle, and how chivalrous the men were about not getting on the life boats and how that made them not so bright. Hot dam you are a smart nino.

Thanks for such a great time!!!

Friday, March 12, 2010

What??? What did she just say??

I went to get a pedicure this past week. The woman who was assigned to me is super cute. I picked out gray nail polish for me toes. I was thinking,
" hey, you are heading to the beach soon. You need to go neutral to match whatever swimsuits you may find to wear."

As she is finishing the color she says, " You want flowers?"

I say, "Oh No. I am super boring with my toes."

She says, "Ohhhhh, we do diamonds, they are classy."

YES SHE DID. I now have rhinestone rainbows, yes freaking rainbows, on my big toes. I couldn't really focus on the rainbows because I was thinking,

"My eyebrows are so bad. Her eyebrows look awesome. I know they wax eyebrows here. Am I up for asking her if I can get them done?"

Yes I AM. We head to the back room. I laid down on the table and a few seconds later I hear a large intake of breath and the following,

"Hon-knee (this is how it sounded and it was extremely drawn out.) Do you want your upper lip waxed."

Down Time

I went to read a story to you and this is what I encountered. My response is still........No, I can not do that. No, most people can not do that. Yes, I am still allergic to cats. Yes, cats probably can do something similar to this.

Two nights prior dad and I went running and came home to this. I was told that these are super hero costumes. Paige, you were reading and couldn't put the book down to get your outfit on.
There are a couple of things I would like to point out:
1. Ava, your superhero outfit was a pair of Carter's underwear and a wife beater. With the B.O. your brother is sporting lately I'm thinking you were going for stinking the enemy away. I can't even get the tank top white anymore. (For future Carter's reference: In case you forgot young man - yes you will always be young to your mama - you were not allowed to wear said tank top without a shirt over it. We were NOT that type of family. )
2. Carter, you have a pair of your underwear over your mouth.
3. Ellie, you have your belly stuffed like you are a pregnant super hero. " Fighting crime while having one baby at a time?" I thought this one was interesting.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

To Rangers Apprentice Staff,

(This is the letter you sent to enter into a contest for a camp that is based on your favorite book series " Rangers Apprentice". Ok, I can tell you now that the letter was not required. Twas a wee postcard that needed to be filled out only. I kind of wanted to see what you came up with.)

I was just finishing, Erak's Ransom, when a paper talking about this camp fell out. I was intrigued by it so I took it home. By the time I was home I had read all on the page and was excited that I could win. So here I am now writing about it. And now I shall tell you why I am eligible. I have almost read all of the series and am quite stealthy. I am quite good at shooting a bow and am quite strong. I get along well with others, do great by myself, and am a great leader. I have also probably read the entire series in 3 months. I am Carter Babbitt and this is why I think I am a good contestant.



Monday, March 8, 2010



You and One have always loved reading!! He is more of a series type a kid and you skip around from series to series never finishing one. You are also a lightening fast reader - it sort of boggles ones' mind. (can I insert here that I had a dream last night that some random English teacher pointed out all of my grammar errors on my blog. Yuck. How sad that I dedicated some of my precious dreaming time to a nasty teacher. Suck it proper grammar and punctuation.) Back to you young reader; you found a series that you can't get enough of. It is Molly Moon. Grandma Wenzel was nice enough to pick you up the latest one you needed to read. When you were explaining to grandma the series this is what you said (old lady),

"This series is so good. It is such a treasure."

You said TREASURE. You are 10 not 90. I LOVE IT!!!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Check out my grill my peeps, tis my birthday with the new biters.

Twas my birthday yesterday. You were all super fabulous. Miss. Ellie you wrapped up your lovely glass doll and gifted it to me. I was so stunned since this doll sleeps with you every night. Thank you!!! Your wrapping of the doll was superb - you are a mini Martha "that's a good thing" hahahahaha. Ok you won't get that, but Martha over uses that phrase.

(Please make a note of the above cake. Tis the Groundhog cake. You know the one dad gets every year and is like, "This is the BEST CAKE EVER." and forgets that it is the SAME freaking cake he gets every year. Well this year he remembered that he has gotten this cake for the last 6 years. Phew.)

On to you Miss P. You had mucho forethought. You made me a cookie out of clay a MONTH ago. Wow! Nice planning. The cookie was great and very colorful!

Mr. Babbitt you, my friend, out did yourself. You hired John, the "famous ar-tist" to paint a series of Spanish art for my front room. I LOVE THEM!!!!

Children, you will remember that I named our house this year - Val Kill Orchard. You may remember that this was because I read about Eleanor Roosevelt naming her house Val Kill Cottage after one of the first all female run factories. Since I am a wee bit pro-lady power, I found this name applicable for my home.

I LOVE that the paintings have my house name in Spanish on it - - - Val Muerte!!!! You are so thoughtful my pirate! Gracias
Here is the final product of thy teeth!!! I LOVE THEM DR. MORRIS!!!!

Monday, March 1, 2010

The Books

Dear #1,

I was thinking back to when you had your imaginary friend
Carro (please roll the R's) who's dad was Emmett Smith. Carro used to be wherever we were. He was a lovely little boy who disliked the same things you disliked. What a match!!

This got my brain thinking, "Wow, did I read some books that dedicated the lesson to imaginative play?" I remember a lot of me singing and dancing, but no
puppetering or role playing.

This got my brain thinking, "You should really write a post about what books each of the kids liked. That way when they are adults they can read them again and feel all warm and fuzzy."

So, I start with you
UNO. Here is a list of some of your most favorite books over the last couple of years.

th grade - The Little House on the Prairie series. It took you six months to read all 8 of them. You came away quoting ways to make pig parts into sporting equipment. You kept wanting to eat steak that had been smoked.
th grade - The Other Side of the Mountain series. Again hacketts and survival skills.
th grade - The Giver - You were very philosophical regarding this book!

th grade - The Lightening Thief series - You couldn't put it down. You walked while reading.
th grade - 100 cupboards, and or course the last 2 Harry Potter books.

th grade - The Rangers Apprentice - you say this is your favorite series you have ever read. 7 books.
th grade - ALL 10 PENDRAGON BOOKS. In 2 months. These are really thick books and you took them with in the carpool in the mornings to read on the ride to school. You said you learned much about history with this series.