Wednesday, February 1, 2012
A: "I don't want to go sleep. I keep having bad dreams about blood sucking poodles."
Me: " When I can't sleep I like to think about things that make/made me happy. Disneyland is a great one. Just lay there and think about riding Pirates of the Caribbean."
E: " I like to think about my fingers." (giggling)
Me: "What?" (strange face made by your mother)
E: "Yeah, I really don't wish to be fingerless, so I am happy I have fingers and like to think about them."
Last night whilst I was cleaning up the counter in the kitchen you walked over and said,
C: "Hey, I heard this line on Dinner for Schmucks and was wondering what it means."
Me: "What was it?"
C: "Hey I lost the clitoris."
Me: (in a very calm professora voice) " It is located at the top of the vagina. It is under a small hood of skin and women have it to help them have an orgasm. Would you like to know what an orgasm is?"
AT this POINT you make a face like you licked Uncle Danny's black head that is the size of a walnut on his back. I wish we had cameras on you 24/7 because it was one of the funniest faces I've seen from you.
C: "NO, no I don't want to know."
Me: "Really, I would love to explain it all to you."
C: "No, really please don't tell me."
You ran away from me as fast as possible. I walked in to my bedroom and dad was on the bed in hysterics.