Thursday, January 10, 2013
Life with Technology
I have been slacking, yes, a bit. Here is the deal. Me+technology=Number 5 from Short Circuit. Old, outdated, slightly techy, says awesome things that rhyme as often as possible.
I dropped my phone (technically Kim's phone b/c I'm a cheap ass) in the potty. Yes, I kept my phone in my back pocket like a genius and it fell out when I ran to the bathroom. Can my excuse be that since my surgery it is ALWAYS a surprise to me that I am able to go to the bathroom. It's like I'm 90 yrs old and freaking surprised every SINGLE time. It never gets old. I'm happy everyday when my body gives me 10 seconds warning prior to having a bowel movement. (Yes that is for you Kim. Years of therapy still can't get me over the fact that our mother liked to say BM or bowel movement and required it of us. a;kldjrflkaj I just threw up in my mouth again.)
Anywho I purchased myself a new Iphone 5. After one month of owning it and pretty much video taping every single thing that happened; I synced it. Guess what?
NUMBER 5 is a retard. She isn't ALIVE and all bad assy. She is mentally handicapped. If I were to go all Short Circuit on you I would say:
JEN IS A TARD
TECHNOLOGY LEAVES HER SCARRED
SHE BEST BE NEAR THE BATH....ROOM
HER BODY IS NO LONGER THE TEMPLE OF DOOM
SHE WAS GENIUS TO REMOVE HER WOMB
I lost everything on my phone. GONE. Christmas pictures, pictures with Allie/John/ and kids, videos of dancing and inappropriate things being said GONE GONE GONE. Ahhhh.
I'll make up for it. I promise. I'll double time it this week.