#1, "Yes, I am now on book 7."
Mom, "Good thing. The movie comes out next week and you wouldn't be able to see it without finishing the series. (we are referring to Harry la Potter)"
#1, "It is too bad I am going to see the movie before you."
(I will be at Paige's 5th grade Science Field trip for 3 days next week)
Mom, "Really? I am curious to see who you get to take you. Muahhahaha."
#1, "Kim will take me."
Mom, "Kim never even read the books. She doesn't get the draw."
#1, "It doesn't matter. She adores me and likes to take me places. Don't make me prove this to you."
(You pick up the phone and text Aunt Kim while head bopping to Baby Gaga. Kim thinks you are trying to be sneaky and get her to take you to the movie without permission. She calls you.)
1,# "Hey Kim. ..........No I am allowed to go, mom will be out of town...............Grandma. No I didn't ask her. I thought we could go together.........Ok. (turning to me) 50% chance she is going to take me. You don't understand mom, I had a very unlucky thing happen this week so the rest of the week is lucky."
Mom, "WHAT??? Your week is unlucky? WHAT?"
#1, "No, (in a voice like I am the slowest human you has ever spoken with. ) On Monday I was at the Pep Assembly and got stuck between two fat girls and couldn't see ANYTHING. (this was not said with any distain toward larger people.) Since I had an unlucky thing happen the rest of the week has been lucky. I got Little Caesars pizza a couple of days ago for free."
Mom, "Where did you get the pizza?"
#1, " Some kid."
Mom, "And some random kid giving you leftover pizza is lucky?"
#1, "(at this point you are staring at me like - how the freak are we related.) Yes, any pizza is good. Especially free pizza at school. If I have to ask grandma and grandpa I will, but I like to challenge myself so I went for Kimmy first."
Mom, "I don't even know what to say."