Why that would be Uncle Danny wailing. This was gut level crying like someone was dying. Oh wait, he was. AHHHHH. What makes your mom cry really hard? That would be Uncle Danny losing it and falling onto grandpa who was super frail on the bed. I snuck back in when everyone had left. He opened his eyes and reached out for both of my hands. I leaned in and said,
"Nathan and I love you so very much. It is time for you to go now. Don't be scared. Love you, Bye"
That was a hard night. We thought grandpa would be gone by the morning.
NOPE. He is one tough cookie. He held on for another 4 days. After that someone decided that we should wait another SEVEN days before we bury him. AHHHHHHHHHH. That AHH should go on for another seven lines. I digress, let me get to the good stuff......THE FUNERAL. Not kidding, it is GOOD Stuff!!
Here I go in a non-filtered kind of way - as they say on Disneyland's Thunder Mountain, "Hold on boys and girls cuz this here's going to be the wildest ride in the West."
1. There was a viewing. Yuck. Let's skip that part
2. Uncle Phil got up to go over grandpa's timeline. He just guns it into grandpa marrying Chelo. "What, excuse me. The taboo subject of the last 16 years of my involvement in this family is now on the table? Can I get a HOLLAR" Phil was super honest and extremely delicate. I LOVED it!!! He covered all of the marriages, the jobs, the involvement in the cult. He said things like, "And then Jenny left Homer taking the 3 kids with her. No one can blame her." I turned to your father and said, "THIS IS AWESOME!!!" Phil you seriously rocked your part man. I was super impressed with all of the details, with the kindness you gave to ALL 4 wives, and with not leaving a thing out. I am totally church high fiving you right now.
3. Sam gave a very sweet talk about a few of the kind things grandpa did for his kids. A baseball game he once played and the time he let Angie put fingernail polish on him.
4. HERE WE GO - THE GOOD STUFF. Al Farnsworth got up to speak. He jumped on board the honest train and away we went. He covered Homer having him meet with the cult leaders. How Homer was convinced to follow the "evil Lebarons". I do think the Lebarons were evil, but it was a little humorous to have my Lebaron relatives sitting by me in the chapel and cringing a bit every time he said it. He went into how Homer left Conzuela and their 9 children. He went into the fact that when Homer decided to leave the cult he met with the Mormon church leaders and they fasted and prayed about letting the Babbitts into the Mormon Church. (remember their cult was known for infiltrating the Mormon church and sabotaging it) Then he went into how he told Homer he would stay married to Sylvia and would have to completely separate himself from Marjean and the kids. "Wait - Al said what. Did you just clarify years of mystery? Did you just heal some kids feeling like they were less than other kids? Holy heck Al I'm going to forgive you for the "Most of you won't go to heaven" comment and give you a big Shout Out for the Therapy SES SION. " Al darling, you said the word bloodbath at a funeral. Let's all take a moment of silence for that one.
I agree with Al that yes grandpa made some poor choices; but the fact that he brought his family to the States and changed their lives for the better makes up for most of it. He bucked a paradigm ingrained in him from childhood and uprooted his family from Mexico, a place he loved more than anything. He went against CULT leaders that were super influential and charismatic.
For all of the Non-Mormons in the chapel (yes, there were quite a few) they were most stunned by Al's comment, "The happiest day of my life was the day my wife died." I get how that may come across as something unkind, but it was truly meant in a very loving way. I also can't stop laughing to see it from another person's point of view.
So Homer if you are following my blog I will give you one last send off,
I hope you enjoyed your funeral. We all left with such a great feeling. It was honest, it was transparent, it was loving, it was non-judgemental, and it was super healing. I hope you can be happy now!