Wednesday, April 6, 2011

You know how when you were / are little (depends on when you are reading this lovely scrapbook I've made you) everyone was all up in arms about illegal immigrants. Remember how some crazies would even go so far to say
"The illegal immigrants are taking all of our jobs."

I'm not a sterotyper but guess what? Anyone who made the above comment is............................................wait for it...............................................NOT a hard worker. Yes, I said it. Anyone who is a person complaining about the $9 per hour jobs is NOT - let me sing it
Traalalalalala NOT a hard worker. I tell you why young ewoks. Tis because I have NEVER seen one of these complainers wanting to do the jobs that the illegals are performing. Never once have I seen the complainers say, "Hey I want to wash your car, or clean your house, or harvest the broccoli fields just North of your house Jen." Arrrr. It makes me break out in pirate.

I have mucho experience in such matters and it bores me. Yes simply bores me. That is why when I stumbled or rather showed up at my dinner table on our cruise I was overjoyed with an immigrant employee who worked like a dog for his Carnival wages. I was so super impressed I told him I would help him with a job if he was able to obtain a work visa. It is so super rare that I am impressed with someone's work ethic!

Vlado from Serbia is said worker. The other two Slavko and Gade were also wonderful! Yeah to Carnival for assisting people from countries where they would never make anything close to this. Sad that what they do make is not so great in my eyes, but hey they are happy for the opportunity and I was happy for the great service.

On to a lady who drove April and I CRAZY. She was in our tour bus for the zip lines. At first I thought, "Oh lady with a New Jersey accent, do not live up to the typical sterotype for said accent." Then we ventured over to getting geared up and in line and I thought, "Oh annoying lady with a New Jersey accent, please stop yakking." As we were walking up the path to wait for the first zip she started eating a banana off of a tree in the jungle. Since April and I were experts after our wee trip with Super Mario we both said, "AHHH, stop don't eat that small banana. Some of the small ones cause nasty poo for one week." We thought we were being so kind and Christ like. Turns out New Jersey lady did not think we were being anything but bossy and rude. "I'm hypoglycemic and I'm eating this! They are serving it later and it isn't dangerous. If I don't I will pass out!" Then her husband said something to the affect of "You skinny beeches - shut your traps." Why of all things.

Oh look, even in the picture she won't stop talking. Back to the story. While waiting to zip someone (maybe April) asked her where she was from. Oh crap, turns out not a good question.
Crazy lady, "I'M FROM SOUTH CAROLINA. WHAT BECAUSE OF MY ACCENT? HOW FAR BACK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GO WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU THAT?" A longer conversation followed where we explained manners to her.

Look at April's face in this picture - - - - - - priceless.

Back on the water I stuffed my face with more food. Look how happy tu padre is. All his fluffy Bo and Luke Duke hair. He looks like he just jumped a muscle car over the swamp while sending off orders for the Cuban army and I look like I smelled a fart at the Kentucky Derby.

Once we arrived in Miami we had most of the day to wander. To make the most of it we quickly rented a car and headed to a beach Randon Shay recommended. Turns out it is a naked beach. You read this right. Turns out there are people who ENJOY being completely naked on the beach. As we are walking up to said beach I see a Vienerfest. (Please use your German accents. It sounds a lot less dirty when we discuss these things)

I started laughing. My photo below includes ZERO background for a reason people. It was nuts. AHHH I said nuts. It was so gross and I have no urges to ever see anything so interesting again. April just kept looking down and walking. I thought, "Well if we are here, I might as well see what there is to see." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha Don't look up. That is my advice if you someday (as an adult) stumble onto a nudist beach.

Back at the safe end of the beach. April still won't look up. She would just pretend to dig in her pockets.

Two nights after getting home we were at the dinner table discussing our trip. When I said that we happened upon a nudist beach everyone started laughing. This is the conversation that followed:

Ellie, "Hahahahaha Oh that is so funny. Was everyone wearing speedos?"
Carter and Paige, "Probably not. HahahahahHAHAHAHA"
Me, "Oh Ellie what is a nudist beach?"
Ellie, "It is where old people do yoga with speedos on."
Me, "Awesome."

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