Dearest Offspring,

To Celebrate our 16 years of Marriage I thought I would post a lovely assortment of pictures.  (Please play Positive K's "I've Got a Man" whilst you gaze at our love.)  Don't be burned young ones.  We are one white hot married couple.   I remember our first date.  He had on stone washed jeans.  They had gone out of style 7 years prior.  Poor thing.  I dated him anyways.  I know I am a GIVER.  

On our wedding day my lovely car started on fire.  Twas awesome.  We got ourselves married at that little chapel downtown and were off to Mexico for a sweet vacay.  Does it matter that I got the revenge?  No,  inhouse poop day was romantic.  

Two short years later we found out we were having you, #1.  What a beautiful treat.  After your glorious birth from my lady garden we had Paige 17 months later.  You heard me.  I know you guys are gifted and all but have you ever done the actual math?  Hot Damn.  White hot I tell ya.  "Gross mom.  Don't insinuate that you and dad had the intercourse."  Sorry little lovers but I am telling our story of amore right now, bear with me.  

(on a wee side note - check out tu padre.  He is all, Lady love - I dig your thigh.  Even though you have the red eyes of Satan right now, I dig you.  I really really dig you.) 

Three short years later was super Elle.  Thank you E.  You are so spunky and bring mucho excitement to our lives.  I could never say I have lived until I was mother to poocasso.  Your talent at the poo art was one for the ages.  I appreciate that you have moved on to bigger and cleaner things.  Thank you.

Four short years after E was A.  Ms.  Ava.  All four of your rock.  Everyone of you are different and unique.  As for your biological father and I we are having another baby.  

Just kidding.  My sacred birth canal is empty.  It was funny yesterday when I gathered all of you into my room for the sole purpose of calling our order into 5 guys ahead of time.  I sat everyone down on the rug and you all looked so pensive that I announced that we were having a baby.  Hahahahhahahahaha.  Sorry I wet myself.  Hahahahahahaha.  Hot Damn you guys are gullible.  No, we will not be having any more potlickers.  We is done ya'all.

Below are my 2 fav pictures from this past year.  I believe your dad won the vote of who looked best in the dress.  

Hot stuff.  Here is to 16 years.  Cheers.