#2, " If I had the ability to read people's minds I would want to read Chica's first. (chica is a dog. I know I am stating the obvious, but a dog. I bet she is thinking, "hey, I really love it when you forget to take me outside and I take a huge dump in your mom's room.")"
#3, "You know that thing you used to have to yank the milk out of your boob?"
Me, "yes, it is called a breast pump."
#3, " Yah that's it. I think we should get one to use on Chica in case she isn't giving her puppies enough milk. We will get some bottles and feed them at night."
Me, " You want to pump your dog?'