Dad and I went to visit her on Sunday. She was muy grumpy to the hospital workers. (I'm sure it is not so fun being sick and in pain. ) Your dad referenced the fact that Grandma is like a zoo animal that is out of control and the zoo workers post her picture up to educate all zoo workers about her mala leche. (On a side note. When I was ever a wee bit moody after having a baby, your father thought it was funny to say that I had mala leche. Since I was a vaca and had milk squirting out of my body I too thought, "Yes, Senor Babbitt. If you are not careful with your words, you will wake up one morning with a paste I made from my MALA LECHE covering your lovely locks. You will smell like my sugary MALA LECHE all freaking day.") Back to your Grandma. She actually laughed at the zoo reference. We were all giggling about how she was a bit out of control when a hospital worker taking food orders arrived. The worker gave grandma options for her meals. You need to read the actual conversation so - - - - -here it goes:
Worker: " Would you like salad, or chicken for lunch?"
Grandma: " I want cottage cheese. I know you have some pudding too. I want Tapioca."
Worker: " Ok, would you like salad or chicken?"
Grandma: "I want a salad."
Worker: "Oh, it looks like you are on a low fiber diet. You can not have the salad. Would you like juice or milk?"
(ARE YOU KIDDING ME. DON"T MESS WITH THE FOOD OPTIONS. This is like if I offered you lamb stew over and over again and then said " never mind I only have hotdogs." You guys would stampede over me shouting, "Lamb stew or die.")
Grandma: "I would like something else to drink. I also want that pudding."
Worker: "We only have chocolate or vanilla pudding."
Grandma: "I want Tapioca."
Worker: "We don't have that."
Grandma: "You had it one time. I really want cottage cheese. Nathan do you see what I have to eat here. The food is horrible."
ME: "Give her the chicken, fat-free milk, the chocolate pudding. Thank you so much."
Nathan: "Hey mom I have a surprise for you. "
Nathan: "This is not a resort."
At this point we laughed until the next worker showed up to get verbally assaulted.